This is a brilliant suspense story! The tension builds perfectly as Melanie’s paranoia escalates, leading her — and us — down a path of questions about her own mind and safety. The reveal about carbon dioxide poisoning is unexpected yet plausible, adding an eerie layer that’s grounded in reality. Ron’s concern and eventual support provide a warm, stabilizing influence, which rounds out the story beautifully.
Your use of sensory details, like the smell of burning toast or the creak of an old apartment, really pulls readers into Melanie’s deteriorating world. The way you weave in her fascination with true crime as a potential factor in her confusion is a clever touch, and the notes turning out to be her own under the effects of CO2 deprivation is the perfect twist.
The additional story teaser at the end for Trent’s story is intriguing too! It would draw readers into another layer of mystery. This story really nails the suspense while maintaining a sympathetic, relatable protagonist.
I Shared a Photo of My Partner and Me on Facebook for the First Time & Instantly Received a Message: ‘You Need to Get Away from Him. Right Now
Social media has a way of creeping into your life, becoming a part of your relationships, whether you like it or not. It’s harmless for the most part — cute pictures and updates for friends and family. But sometimes, things take a turn you never see coming.
Mark and I had been together for almost a year. Honestly, he was the perfect boyfriend. Sweet, caring, and always making me laugh, whether we were out hiking or just watching TV on a lazy Sunday. I felt so lucky to have him in my life. So, I figured it was time to make things official on Facebook.
We were on a hiking trail one afternoon when we snapped a picture together. It was cute — us smiling with the sun shining behind us. “Just me and my favorite person on our latest adventure!” I captioned it, adding a couple of heart emojis. I shared the post, excited to share a bit of our happiness with the world.
Then, ten minutes later, I got a notification that made my stomach drop. It wasn’t a like or a comment. It was a message: “YOU MUST RUN FROM HIM. NOW.”
I stared at my phone, my heart pounding. Who would send something like that? I clicked on the profile, hoping for some clue, but there was nothing — no info, no pictures, just a blank, empty page. The message itself was terrifying enough, but this? It was like a ghost had sent it.
I glanced at Mark, who was busy tossing our backpacks into the car, completely unaware of the storm building inside me. Should I tell him?
My mind raced, but before I could even process what was happening, another message popped up: “Don’t tell Mark anything. Listen carefully. Smile, don’t be aggressive with him. You don’t know what he’s capable of. You got it?”
I could feel the blood drain from my face. What was this? Who was sending these messages? And why were they so certain I was in danger?
“I’m meeting my mom for lunch tomorrow,” I said casually over breakfast, trying not to let my voice tremble.
Mark didn’t look up from his coffee right away. “Really? You didn’t mention it before.”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied quickly, my heart racing. “She called last night. Last minute thing.”
Mark finally met my eyes, his expression unreadable. “Alright,” he said slowly.
I tried to focus on my coffee, but all I could feel was the weight of his gaze as if he was trying to see straight through me.
The next day, I left the house. As I slipped out the door, I could feel Mark’s eyes on me. I tried to act normal, but my stomach was in knots. Every time I looked back at him, there was that same unreadable look on his face. Was he suspicious? Did he know something was wrong?
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