In August 2017, Tony Alarcon’s phone rang unexpectedly.
Like many parents, he thought it might be a telemarketer. But this time, he answered the call.
Hearing from the school can be nerve-wracking for any parent. Tony immediately started worrying—was his daughter, Demetra, okay? Had something happened?
What he found out left him surprised.
It was a hot summer day in Northern California, with temperatures reaching 90 degrees. Tony had dropped off his 13-year-old daughter, Demetra, at school that morning. She wore a blue romper to stay cool in the heat, and neither of them thought the outfit would cause any issues.
Demetra, a student at Raymond J. Fisher Middle School in Los Gatos, California, had simply dressed for the weather.
Not everyone agreed with Demetra’s outfit. A teacher at her school said her romper was “too distracting” for the boys.
When the teacher told Demetra that her outfit was too short, her dad, Tony, rushed back to the school with a change of clothes—jean shorts and a tank top. But the school said those clothes were also inappropriate.
Tony was shocked. He asked Demetra to bend over and touch her toes in front of the school administrator. “Nothing is hanging out. There’s nothing inappropriate. I don’t understand this dress code rule,” he told TODAY.
Still, the school said her clothes were “distracting.” Since it was 90 degrees outside, Tony had no choice but to go to his car and grab a pair of leggings for Demetra to wear.
Demetra felt embarrassed.
Tony expressed his frustration, saying, “She’s just a kid. She’s only 13. She’s not trying to be a sex symbol. She just wants to be comfortable and attend class, but we’re not giving her that chance.”
This wasn’t the first time Demetra had been in trouble for her clothes. Just a week before, she was called out for a visible bra strap. “When I got dress coded last week, they said my bra strap was showing,” Demetra told the *San Jose Mercury News*. “Like, I’m wearing a bra—what’s the big deal?”
Tony, a successful investment advisor and father of two, didn’t let it go. Angry at what he saw as an unfair rule that mostly targeted girls, he took his complaint to social media. Parents from all over the country showed their support, agreeing that the school’s dress code was outdated and unfair to girls.
“Demetra’s not the only one. If you sit in the school parking lot, you’ll see that,” Tony said. “Lots of girls just want to be comfortable, but they feel forced to wear leggings even when it’s 100 degrees outside.”
Tony believed that parents, not schools, should decide if their children’s clothes are appropriate. He was also worried about how being told their clothing is a “distraction” to boys could affect young girls emotionally in the long run.
The story quickly got attention from the media, with major news outlets reporting on Tony’s efforts to change the dress code. While the school didn’t speak on camera, they did release a statement:
“The Los Gatos Union School District believes that appropriate dress and grooming contribute to a productive learning environment,” the district said. “Students are expected to wear clothes that reflect the core values of our learning community.”
Tony’s efforts made an impact. His push for change led the Los Gatos Union School District to reevaluate its dress code to make it fairer and less strict for all students.
Lisa Fraser, the school’s principal, explained that the dress code rules, called “Fashion Faux Pas,” apply to both girls and boys. Some of the rules include no hats or hoods indoors, no visible underwear, no inappropriate logos or words, and shorts must have at least 4-inch inseams.
“There has always been a dress code,” Fraser told a newspaper. “These are basic rules for appropriate behavior. I can set guidelines for the school, but I want them to reflect the community’s values.”
In the end, Tony Alarcon’s persistence started an important discussion about how school dress codes affect young girls — showing that one parent’s voice can truly make a difference.
What do you think about the school’s dress code? Have you or your children faced a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
My granddaughter was constantly mocked by her classmates because of her braces.
The sun streamed through the kitchen window, illuminating dust motes dancing in the air. I sat at the table, sipping my tea, when the doorbell chimed. A wave of excitement washed over me. It was Lizzie, my granddaughter, a whirlwind of energy and sunshine.
But today, her smile seemed a little forced, her eyes downcast. “Hi Grandma,” she mumbled, her voice barely a whisper.
My heart sank. I knew something was wrong. Lizzie, usually a chatterbox, was unusually quiet. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” I asked, pulling her onto my lap.
She shrugged, her shoulders drooping. “Nothing.”
“Come on, darling,” I coaxed. “You can tell me anything.”
After a long pause, she finally admitted, “The kids at school are teasing me again.”
My blood ran cold. “Teasing you about what?”
Lizzie looked down at her feet, her voice barely audible. “My braces… and now my glasses.”
My heart ached. I remembered the cruel taunts I had endured as a child, the feeling of being different, of not fitting in. I couldn’t bear to see my granddaughter go through the same thing.
“Lizzie,” I said, my voice firm, “those kids are just mean. They’re jealous. You are beautiful, inside and out, with or without braces or glasses.”
She looked at me doubtfully. “But everyone else is wearing contacts.”
A mischievous glint entered my eye. “Really? Well, then I guess I need to get some contacts too!”
Lizzie’s eyes widened. “But Grandma, you don’t need glasses!”
I chuckled. “Oh, but I do, darling. I’ve been needing glasses for a while now, but I’ve been too stubborn to admit it.”
And with that, I went to my room and emerged a few minutes later, sporting a pair of stylish, oversized glasses. Lizzie stared at me, her mouth agape.
“Grandma!” she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. “We look like twins!”
She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Thank you, Grandma,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. “You’re the best grandma ever. I love you!”
My heart melted. I had never expected this reaction. I had simply wanted to comfort her, to show her that she wasn’t alone. But seeing her smile, her eyes shining with admiration, filled me with a joy I hadn’t felt in years.
From that day on, Lizzie embraced her glasses. She even started experimenting with different frames, choosing colors and styles that expressed her individuality. The teasing continued, of course, but it no longer had the power to dim her light.
And I, her unlikely accomplice, watched with pride as she blossomed into a confident, beautiful young woman, her glasses becoming a part of her unique identity. I had learned a valuable lesson that day: sometimes, the best way to combat negativity is with a little bit of humor and a whole lot of love.
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