My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
5 Creatures That Can Crawl In Through Your Toilet and How to Stop Them
If you are wondering why bugs and other pests pay your bathroom a visit, it’s because of all the moisture. And when we’re talking about the toilet seat, in particular, many people fail to clean it consistently and in detail. Flushing isn’t enough, since there is the residue left behind and that is enough to attract all the wrong guests.
Bright Side wants you to know that many pests can crawl into your house through your toilet and that there are ways to prevent this from happening.
1. Snakes
Snakes just love cool, wet, and dark places and that’s why your toilet pipes can be very intriguing to them. But, what drives them there in the first place is the sewer that has food remnants that they can feed on. When they are finished with their food in the sewer, they will look for a way out and the pipes are the easiest and quickest route. However, you shouldn’t be afraid if you live in a cold environment, since snakes will only sneak up in toilets in warm countries.
It’s usually harmless snakes that crawl through the pipes, like garden or tree snakes. That’s because these snakes are slimmer than venomous ones and can fit through the pipes. Although, some anacondas have appeared in people’s toilets in South America and Australia.
2. Rats
Like snakes, rats are also in constant pursuit of food and our pipes can be very appealing to them. In houses where the toilet and garbage disposal end up in the same pipes, rats are more likely to find a way in. And because their anatomy is very bendy, they can swim through the pipes and hold their breath for minutes before they need air.
So, it’s not just important to discard your food remnants in a trash bag but to also never flush food down the toilet. If there is no food in the pipes, rats won’t have any reason to try and enter your sewage system. You should also keep the toilet cover closed at all times and maybe install a rat guard. This allows water to exit the pipes whenever you flush, but nothing can come up in the opposite direction.
3. Spiders
With spiders, things get a bit more complex, since they can’t swim in your pipes, but they can appear in your bathroom through another passage. And when they get in, they will probably sit outside the toilet seat. Only black widows will crawl inside the toilet and weave their web from side to side. But, that will happen only in an outdoor toilet that doesn’t have plumbing and that isn’t connected to a sewer system.
That’s where these venomous spiders thrive since there are many flies that they can catch for food. That’s also why you need to always check the seat thoroughly before using an outhouse toilet. Spiders, like the black widow, the brown recluse, and the hobo spider won’t have any trouble biting you.
4. Lizards
In the Southwest United States, lizards coming through the toilet pipes are a quite common occurrence. That’s because these creatures love water and they try to find food wherever they can. Crickets and other insects (like flies) can be found a lot in your toilet’s plumbing if it’s not kept decently clean. The lizards that can achieve this are usually small enough that they can fit through the pipes.
5. Possums
In 2008, a man was in his bathroom in Australia when he saw the water in the toilet gurgling. Moments later, a baby possum appeared and this is not the first time this has happened. On another occasion, a woman found a dead possum in her toilet. These unusual guests are excellent swimmers and can hold their breath for a long time — that’s why they can crawl into your toilet.
How to prevent and react to these occurrences
- Keep your toilet clean: This may sound obvious, but you really need to clean your toilet often and neatly. Disinfecting cleaners are perfect for that job and if you want something cheaper you can resort to white wine vinegar or baking soda. You can also get one of those fresheners that stick on the side of the toilet and release a nice smell every time you flush.
- Keep it dry: Most pests love humidity and that’s why they will be attracted to wet bathroom floors. So, it’s important to get rid of any standing water from the sink or the floor after you’ve taken a shower. If you notice any leaks in your plumbing, call a technician immediately and get them fixed.
- Clean your pipes naturally: In a bowl, add equal parts of sugar, water, vinegar, and 5-10 drops of dish soap. Mix all of this together and pour it down the toilet or in your bathroom sink. You can also pour some boiling water into the toilet.
- Call a pest control company: If you don’t have the time or courage to deal with pests yourself, call professionals and let them use their heavy cleaners. After that is done, you can occasionally throw water mixed with a cleaning solution down the drain to make sure no pest will climb up into the toilet.
Have you ever found an uninvited guest in your toilet — if so, what was it and how did you react?
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