Eight years of marriage shattered in one quick breath when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant sidekick and KICKED ME OUT of the house. I packed alright, but what I unpacked was a revenge plot so brilliant and karmic!
Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney
It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.
At first, I thought maybe I’d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.
But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he’d just swallowed a porcupine.
A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.
“This is Jessica,” Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
I waited for the punchline. Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike’s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.
“Mike,” I said slowly, “what do you mean by ‘it just happened’? Did you trip and fall into her—?”
Mike had the audacity to look offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I’ll take over the house.”
A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.
“Alright,” I calmly said. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider, like she’d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.
A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn’t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I set my plan in motion.
First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless. I’m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.
A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.
A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney
I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
A party invitation | Source: Midjourney
Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who’d just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.
“Michelle!” he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn’t know he could reach. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
Silhouette of a pregnant woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card. I ate the fruits while soaking in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
A woman with her pet cat | Source: Midjourney
So yeah, my revenge might have been a bit over the top. But let’s be real, bringing home a pregnant mistress and trying to kick me out of my own house? That’s not just crossing a line, that’s pole-vaulting over it and then setting the pole on fire.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Squeeze those lemons into the eyes of those who wronged you, and then sit back and watch them stumble around blindly. It’s much more satisfying.
And remember, folks: cheaters never prosper, but the cheated-on with a good sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic? Oh, we do just fine!
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
The Real Reason Why We Haven’t Seen Lacey Chabert Lately
Actress Lacey Chabert, known for her roles in Party of Five and Mean Girls, is no longer as young as she once was.
At the height of her Mean Girls fame, she seemed to be destined for stardom, but co-star Rachel McAdams went on to become the movie’s Hollywood favorite, starring in movies including The Notebook, Spotlight, and Wedding Crashers.
Even Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Seyfried, who costarred in Mean Girls, were able to hold onto their fame; Lohan was merely Lindsay Lohan, while Seyfried was given well-regarded parts.
But what has Lacey Chabert been doing with her time since then? Actually, she’s found her true calling somewhere else.
Lacey Chabert has achieved success over the years in this way.
A shift in emphasis
Julia Mimi Bella, a daughter, was born to Lacey Chabert as her first child in September 2016.
According to E! News, the actress went into full nesting mode in preparation for her daughter’s arrival. She set up the nursery and even spoke with her pet friend, a chihuahua named Kitty, during a pre-interview.
Chabert was obviously happy to welcome her daughter Julia, but it’s possible that motherhood changed her priorities.
This was evident when Chabert discussed the challenges of balancing her new career path with her life as a working mother in the entertainment world in the fall and winter of 2018. Yes, this was during the press tour for her 16th Hallmark movie.
“If you had told me two years ago that this is what my career would look like today, I think I would have been surprised, but it’s such a great fit for who I am and where I am in my life right now,” Chabert said in an interview with the Clarion Ledger in November 2018.
She’ll never be separated from Gretchen Wieners.
The iconic Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls, portrayed by Chabert, is credited with coining the catchphrase “that’s so fetch.” Perhaps she is still thought of by Hollywood as the dimwitted teenager whose father invented the Toaster Strudel?
It’s easy to get typecast in Hollywood, after all—just look at the lovable romantic actress Jennifer Aniston or the eternally quirky Helena Bonham Carter.
When it comes to her more popular work, Chabert’s career identity is still entirely contained in a single film. Ten years after the Mean Girls film’s debut, Chabert told Entertainment Weekly in 2014, “People tweet me hundreds of times, if not thousands of times [with] lines from the movie.”
To be fair, though, she finds the association unsettling. In fact, if a sequel were ever created, Chabert told Star in December 2018 that she “would love to be a part of it.” Give Tina Fey a call now!
The Hallmark movies with Lacey Chabert in them
Lacey Chabert had starred in more than 20 Hallmark Channel shows as of the time of writing.
That’s a lot of productions for any channel, much less one that specializes in the campy, saccharine sweet fare that any mother on earth could not resist. However, Hallmark isn’t exactly the place to go if you’re searching for an Oscar nomination or the next big blockbuster sensation.
Other well-known actors who have appeared in Hallmark movies include Dean Cain, Danica McKellar, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
When was the last time you saw them in an A-list film? Nevertheless, Chabert is obviously happy with her new network and the endearing series it airs—which, in an Entertainment Weekly interview, she described as “like comfort food.”
Her prolific output of holiday-themed content for Hallmark is also no coincidence.”Christmas is my favorite holiday. I’m obsessed with it, as everyone who knows me will attest,” Chabert told the Clarion Ledger.”I wish it lasted for more than just one month each year. It follows that my enjoyment of creating Christmas movies is only natural.
Maybe Lacey Chabert’s convictions prevented her from seeing more
In Tinseltown circles, there’s a notion that success doesn’t always follow from a strong Christian faith (Mel Gibson and Candace Cameron Bure are two examples).
The Hercules TV series actor Kevin Sorbo stated to CNS News in 2014, “I think you get attacked in Hollywood if you’re a conservative and a Christian.”That same year, Chabert starred in the film Christian Mingle, which got just three “rotten” reviews overall from reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes.
Is it possible that Chabert’s lack of success in Hollywood is a result of her public confession of her religious beliefs?
Chabert said, “You know, my faith has always been the center of my life, and I have no shame about saying that,” in an exclusive interview with Christian Mingle.
She also added, “I think it’s beautiful that she comes to a point where her faith is something that’s very personal and alive for her, and I think it’s a nice message,” as an explanation for her interest to the movie character.
Chabert added that she wouldn’t consider some movie roles due to the way a character’s faith is shown in the piece.
The money from Lacey Chabert’s flicks hasn’t been great.
According to Forbes, A-list stars Jennifer Lawrence and Scarlett Johansson earned $46 million and $25 million, respectively, in 2016. Their films’ success has made them profitable.
Sadly, Chabert’s movies don’t live up to the hype, with the exception of Mean Girls and a few minor hits. It is possible that casting directors are reluctant to offer a big-budget film role to an actor who hasn’t been in one for more than ten years.
For the ordinary person, Chabert’s estimated net worth of $4 million is nothing to laugh at, but in comparison to some of her friends, it is noticeably less impressive.
Chabert’s biggest project was really the 2003 slapstick comedy about parenthood, Daddy Day Care, starring Eddie Murphy. The movie was not well received.
The Numbers claims that the film brought in over $104 million domestically, but is there any evidence linking Chabert to it? Probably not.
Chabert’s success has waned after Mean Girls gained popularity a year later and earned over $86 million domestically in 2004. Lawrence, on the other hand, made nearly $281 million at the box office with The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2.
How is Lacey Chabert doing at Family Guy?
For an actress, working with Chabert might not be the easiest. Due to contractual issues, Mila Kunis replaced her as the original pick to play Meg Gryphon in the wildly successful Family Guy television series, as reported by The Huffington Post.
Despite the fact that Seth MacFarlane, the show’s creator, and the actress have both responded with greater tact, there are rumors that Chabert and the show had a falling out.
According to Chabert, “I actually left the show of my own accord,” as reported by GameSpy (via The Huffington Post). and only because Party of Five was what I was doing at the time while I was in school. However, I find the show entertaining and have no animosity toward [Kunis]. I believe she is an excellent actress.According to MacFarlane, no one could “even remember” why Chabert left, as he told IGN.”It was nothing at all; there was no tension at all.””[Kunis] was in many ways, I thought, almost more right for the character,” he continued.
Everything looks okay, so why is there an overt Family Guy episode clip? We’ll let you to decide.
At heart, Lacey Chabert is a girl from a little town.
The pastor of Purvis, Mississippi, and uncle of Lacey Chabert, despite her success with Party of Five and Mean Girls, told the Clarion Ledger that “none of this movie stuff has gone to her head.”Chabert told the newspaper that she feels the same way and tries to see her “extended family” who is still in Purvis, where she grew up till she was seven years old.
“I am incredibly happy to come from Purvis. I’m grateful for the morals that were taught to me there,” she continued.”I adore the people and am grateful for all of their help over the years.”
It makes natural to think that Chabert would decline travel-intensive professions so she could be close to her family. In reference to those principles from her little village that she mentioned? That could have also affected her choice of employment.
She desires to explore new business ventures.
While it’s clear that Lacey Chabert feels at ease in front of the camera, she has established professional objectives that will require her to spend more time out of the spotlight as she pursues them.
Chabert disclosed that she works behind the scenes at the Hallmark Channel in addition to acting as the network’s unofficial face in an interview with the Clarion Ledger.
“I’m more motivated than ever,” Chabert said to the newspaper in reference to her new role as executive producer. “I want to share so many experiences, and I want to learn more about many facets of the industry. My weakness is that I adore narrating stories. And I recall observing and taking in all that goes into producing a show while working on the Party of Five set. And at some point, I’d like to concentrate on that professionally.
Based on her IMDb biography, Chabert seemed to have succeeded at this, as seen by her seven producer credits on Hallmark movies from 2016 to 2020.
In addition, she not only starred in all seven of those Hallmark movies that she isn’t producing, but also in every one of those shows. Was she bundled up by Hollywood and sent to Hallmark?
Lacey Chabert is making things work on her terms.
Even though Chabert operated for years without drawing much attention from the public, it seems like she carved up a pretty successful career for herself.
She has been chosen for a number of voice roles, such as those in The Wild Thornberrys! Menace of Mecha Mutt and Scooby Doo. Just going down that route may get her back on the A-List like Anna Kendrick did in Trolls or Reese Witherspoon did in Sing, or it could just keep her relevant by bringing in some younger fans.
However, Chabert may be beginning to adopt a mompreneurship style similar to that of Jessica Alba. During her late-2018 press trip, Chabert incessantly advertised Tyson Meal Kits, which she personally supports.
These can be seen here and here as examples. She also told Good Housekeeping that the company’s current photographic style—hint: quick—goes well with Hallmark’s.
Regarding Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe, which debuted in 2018, Chabert told Good Housekeeping, “This movie was shot in 15 days, as were most Hallmark movies.”
She went on, “Being a hands-on mom and working is challenging, but I’m grateful to work at a place that makes it easier for me,” before once more endorsing Tyson Meal Kits, which she characterized as “quicker and stress free.”
These days, someone knows where her bread is buttered, and it’s not the massive Hollywood studio system.
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