When my estranged father, who left 20 years ago, called from his deathbed, I was torn between anger and curiosity. His final wish revealed shocking truths.
I was getting ready for bed when an unfamiliar number called, followed by a text: “ALICE, THIS IS YOUR DAD. PLEASE CALL, I AM IN THE HOSPITAL.” My heart stopped. Dad? After twenty years? Curiosity won, and I called back.
“Dad?”
“Alice, it’s me. I… I don’t have much time.”
“Why are you calling now?”
“I need to explain… to ask something of you. But please, don’t tell your mother.” He revealed that my grandfather paid him to disappear because he thought Dad was a failure. “I took the money to secure your future.”
“Why didn’t you come back?”
“I couldn’t. But I watched from a distance, saw your graduation, your volleyball games.”
I felt my world tilt. “Why didn’t Mom tell me?”
“Maybe she thought she was protecting you.”
“What do you want now?”
“I need to see you, Alice. One last time before I go.”
I decided to go. At the hospital, he looked frail. “Alice,” he whispered.
“Why did you do it, Dad?”
“I thought it was the best way to secure a future for you. I wrote letters every year. They’re in a safety deposit box.”
After his death, I found the letters. They were filled with his regrets and love. I confronted Mom, who admitted she thought it was best for me too.
In the end, I used the money to start a scholarship fund in his name, honoring his memory and sacrifices.
The Meaning Behind Placing Coins on Gravestones
Finding ways to celebrate a loved one’s memory becomes vital for many after they pass away, as losing a loved one is always a tough event. While flower arrangements and other tributes are typical, there is a specific meaning associated with laying pennies on gravestones, especially for veterans and service members and their families.
A Tradition Worth Keeping
Though its exact roots are unknown, some have speculated that the custom of laying coins on gravestones originated during the Roman Empire. However, according to Snopes, there is insufficient evidence to back up this assertion. However, one thing is certain: people who have a strong bond with military people are aware of the sacrifices they make and are looking for a significant way to remember their lost colleagues.
It became increasingly difficult for people to express their emotions honestly during the Vietnam War. It became customary to place a coin on a soldier’s tomb to signify that someone had paid them a visit without running the danger of awkward talks regarding the political sides of the conflict. The gesture was a straightforward but effective way for people to express respect and unity.
Symbolic Honor Representations
Every penny placed on a gravestone has a special meaning associated with it. Here are few instances:
A penny is a sign that someone has paid their respects and visited the tomb.
Deeper emotional significance can be derived from a nickel, which represents a bond between the individual who left it and the dead soldier from boot camp.
A dime signifies cooperation, even if it was just briefly before splitting up.
The most important coin, the quarter, acts as a monument by informing the bereaved family that the person who left the coin was there during their time of grief.
These coins remind us of the sacrifices made by those who serve in the military and act as tangible representations of respect and tribute, bridging the gap between the past and present.
Past Gravestones
Not all military traditions involve coins, such as placing money on gravestones. Military troops are big fans of challenge coins, which have no monetary worth but are extremely significant. These coins, which stand for oneness, are frequently traded as trophies of friendship and honor.
Throughout history, coins have also had a variety of roles in cultural practices. They have been regarded as representations of good fortune, giving, and even riches. While this isn’t always the case, some people in the past were buried with their riches. For instance, it’s been reported that two dollars and fifty cents were buried with Abraham Lincoln’s eyes covered.
The deeper significance of laying pennies on gravestones is to commemorate and recognize the extraordinary efforts made by those who are serving in the military and their families, even though there may not be a clear relationship between money and this practice. It serves as a reminder to ourselves that their sacrifices are priceless.
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