
I’ve always been a patient person. I got to practice my patience when my father remarried following my mom’s death. So, when my in-laws tried to get me to break up with my husband before we could get married, I just used what I had learned earlier in life to withstand their onslaught.
You know, sometimes trying to find your place in someone else’s family can be really tricky. At least, it was for me when I met my husband’s family. See, I’m originally from Morocco, while my husband, Jeremy, was raised by an extremely conservative family from Georgia. That should be enough to give you an idea of what I faced.

Man and woman on a date | Source: Getty Images
I immigrated to the US shortly after my mother passed away. I was 11 at the time, and it felt like my entire world was coming to an end. To add to this, my dad married a new woman only a little over a year after Mom’s death. Naturally, adjusting to life in a new country and coming to terms that there was a new woman in my mom’s place was jarring.
My stepmom wasn’t a bad person, but we never got along. I think she felt insecure about the fact that she could never have kids, so she would often be mean and distant toward my sister and me. She used to try to upset us all the time by doing petty things that she knew would make us uncomfortable, but luckily my mom had taught me to always smile when people were intentionally being mean to me.

A young girl in an airplane | Source: Getty Images
This turned out to be a great defense mechanism, and my stepmom couldn’t bear that her tricks weren’t working on me. Eventually, things died down and we made our peace, but I would never forget how effective it was to just smile through whatever petty new ploy she had devised to try and upset me. It truly was one of the greatest gifts my mom had ever given me.
But my stepmom was a minor hindrance compared to Jeremy’s family. When I met them for the first time, I knew I was in for a lengthy cold war.

A woman yelling at a young girl | Source: Getty Images
I met Leona, Jeremy’s mom, and the rest of the Fergus family at one of their family dinners. By that time, I had been dating Jeremy for almost a year, and they had used every excuse to avoid inviting me to their dinners. This time, Jeremy ensured that they couldn’t weasel out of meeting me, and he even told his mom to prepare a few dishes that I could eat, since I steer clear of any pork and alcohol.
While my loving boyfriend was sure there would be something for me, I knew better than to just blindly trust people who clearly had misgivings about me to respect my personal choices, so I ate as I would before a fast and prepared myself for sitting around the dinner table while everyone enjoyed their meal.

A large dinner table with people sitting around it | Source: Getty Images
When we showed up at Jeremy’s parents’ house, the family greeted me with half-hearted smiles and quick hugs before we all settled down to eat. I knew the greetings would be awkward and stiff, but what I didn’t anticipate was Leona bringing a peppy blonde woman up to me with a huge smile and saying, “Oh, Aleah, you just have to meet Diane, Jeremy’s last girlfriend. We’re all still very close and I thought you two might hit it off.”
Diane looked slightly embarrassed, and shook my hand with a smile that seemed to say, “I’m sorry, I know, but what could I do?” I introduced myself and we exchanged a few pleasantries before she greeted Jeremy with a huge hug. She immediately launched into a conversation with him about what was going on in his life, ignoring me completely. Jeremy answered a few questions, grabbed my hand, and steered me to our seats.

A woman shaking another woman’s hand | Source: Getty Images
At the table, things just got worse. Leona opened all the dishes, and every single thing had pork in it. The mac and cheese had bacon bits in, the mashed potatoes had lard in, and even the turkey was wrapped in bacon. After unveiling all the food, Jeremy’s mom looked at me, apologized for all the pork, and offered me a drink. “I don’t drink, but I’ll gladly take a glass of water,” I said with a smile. Slightly crestfallen, Leona got up to get me one.
During the meal, the entire family kept making off-handed, passive-aggressive, and slightly racist comments clearly directed toward me. Meanwhile, Diane was showered with compliments. You’d expect she was royalty with how the family sucked up to her. But I knew exactly how to handle the situation.

A woman enjoying a glass of water | Source: Getty Images
Instead of letting my annoyance show, I once again employed my mom’s wisdom. I smiled at every so-called joke, and even threw a few of my own compliments at Diane. I told Leona how lovely the spread looked, and thanked her profusely when she went to refill my cup of water. I could see Jeremy’s mom seething at my pleasant demeanor.
The night ended and we said our goodbyes. I refrained from complaining to Jeremy about his family. I could handle it. But things didn’t get better from there. Family dinners were suddenly off-limits to anyone who wasn’t also a Fergus — although Diane was apparently an exception — so I would often spend Christmas on my own or with my sister. They never drove a wedge between myself and Jeremy, and imagine their shock when he eventually proposed.

Two sisters celebrating Christmas together | Source: Getty Images
Now, Leona and the rest of the family never bothered to learn anything about my culture. They assumed the wedding would be a regular ceremony, but Jeremy and I had planned on blending traditions. So when all the women, Diane included, showed up wearing white, I was all smiles, complimenting their outfits all the way. This didn’t go down well.
Meanwhile, my outfits were made up of every color imaginable, and I outshone them in every photo. There’s even one picture of Leona with the biggest sour expression I had ever seen. It was a wonderful day.

A traditional wedding dress | Source: Getty Images
But the unspoken feud came to a head last Christmas when Leona suggested I host. Naturally, I accepted, even though I knew she only offered because she hoped I would be overwhelmed. Fortunately, she didn’t count on the fact that I often cooked, and had been since I was a young girl. So my spread was something to marvel at.
Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, turkey, glazed ham, Brussels sprouts, green bean casserole, roasted carrots, and potatoes, freshly baked bread, corn bread, and an entire assortment of pies. Even I was impressed. But of course, with her plan in ruins, Leona did the next best thing. She started shouting at me.

A big dinner | Source: Getty Images
“You’ve got to be kidding me! How could you of all people have managed this?! I know you hired a catering company, Aleah! Just to make me look bad. Admit it!”
Surprised at her outright anger, I looked at her, then at Jeremy. Luckily he stepped in.
“Mom, Aleah slaved away for two days to make sure we had a great Christmas dinner. I don’t think you acting like this is very mature or fair. She has been nothing but a good host, and you accuse her of being petty, like a child who had hoped to one-up someone. I think you owe her an apology, or you should leave.”
There was a long pause. Everyone wondered what would happen next, plates in hand.

A woman cooking dinner | Source: Getty Images
Leona took a deep breath and looked at me. “You won,” she muttered and sat down dejectedly. Before Jeremy could say another word, I walked over to my mother-in-law, got on my knees before her, and took her hands in mine. “Leona, this isn’t a competition. I love your son deeply and I don’t want this cold war between us.”
She looked at me with new-found respect, and I could see the hatchet was buried. The war between us ended with a big hug and a great dinner, and although we still differ about things, we have grown quite fond of each other over the last few months.
You Won’t Believe What Happened to Phoebe Cates After ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’!
Phoebe Cates starred in many movies, such as “Gremlins” and “Drop Dead Fred,” but she is best known for her famous pool scene in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” from 1982.
However, Phoebe Cates left Hollywood more than 20 years ago. Nowadays, she has a regular job that she really enjoys.
Phoebe Belle Cates was born on July 16, 1963, in New York City. When she was a young girl, she went to private schools and studied ballet at Juilliard.

Acting was a big part of Phoebe’s family. Her father, Joe Cates, was a producer and director, her uncle was the president of the Director’s Guild, her brother used to be an actor, and her sister, Valerie, worked in theater.
Phoebe wanted to be a dancer when she was younger, but she had to stop after a knee injury.
At 14, Phoebe Cates started modeling and did pretty well. She was even on the cover of Seventeen magazine four times. But she didn’t really enjoy it and wanted to try something new.
“It was just the same thing, over and over. After a while, I did it solely for the money,” Phoebe said about her short modeling career.
One night, at a party at New York’s famous Studio 54, she met her film agent. After that, she trained with Robert Ravan, who founded The Actors’ Circle in New York.

“I just knew that I didn’t want to go to college. I thought if I could get a few movie roles, it would be a great way to avoid college. Seriously, it’s true,” Phoebe told The Daily Item in 1985.
Phoebe also trained with Alice Spivack at the H.B. Studios. She made her acting debut in 1982, playing Sarah in “Paradise.” Less than a year later, she starred in “Experienced” and then “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” which featured the famous swimming pool scene.
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High” was a big hit with teenagers and became an important part of pop culture. It’s especially famous for one scene that Rolling Stone magazine called “the most memorable bikini-drop in cinema history.”
As a friend of mine said, that scene made a lot of teenage boys’ hearts beat faster than they should have!
In 1982, Phoebe shared her thoughts on acting. “In this business, if a girl wants a career, she has to be willing to strip. If you’ve got a good body, then why not show it?” she said.
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High” had an impressive cast, including future stars like Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Eric Stoltz, and Forest Whitaker.
Jennifer Jason Leigh reflected on the film, saying, “Well, it was a funny thing because we were all so young when we made it. Then it came out and was this big hit. You’d go to the theater, and people would say the lines along with it. People had obviously seen the movie over and over again,” she told The Daily News.
Later on, Phoebe continued working in theater and starred in “Private School” as Christine Ramsey in 1983. She also co-starred in Steven Spielberg’s “Gremlins” in 1984.
Phoebe met Kevin Kline, a well-known theater actor, while auditioning for the 1983 film “The Big Chill.” Although she didn’t get the role, she did meet her future husband.
Kevin was 16 years older than Phoebe, but they didn’t start dating until two years after they first met. Kevin hired Phoebe’s former assistant and asked for help to ask Phoebe out.

In 1989, Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline got married in New York City when she was 25 and he was 41. They had their first child, Owen Joseph, in 1991 and their daughter, Greta Simone, in 1994.
By 2017, the couple had been married for 27 years, and many people wondered how they stayed so happy together for so long. “We take care of the marriage,” Kline said.
Although Phoebe was successful, she decided to step away from acting after having their children. In the 1990s, she gradually left the entertainment industry.
In 1998, Phoebe told Playboy that she and her husband had agreed to alternate their acting jobs so that their children would always have one parent at home.

Kevin Kline mentioned that even when it was Phoebe Cates’ turn to work, she often chose to stay home with their children. Although she did some acting occasionally, she was more often seen with her husband at red-carpet events, as he continued acting regularly.
In 2005, Phoebe opened a store called Blue Tree near Carnegie Hall. The store sells fragrances, clothing, and gifts.
Phoebe dedicated herself to running the store full-time, often working there personally or searching for new products to sell. Today, you can visit her store at 1283 Madison Avenue in New York City, located on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, where she also lives.
And just so you know, Phoebe still looks amazing!

What do you think of when you hear Phoebe Cates’ name? I always thought she was a pretty good actress, but the first things that come to mind are her shower scene in the cave in “Paradise” and the bikini scene in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”
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