John Sims moved to Tucson, Arizona, in an effort to live a more restrained lifestyle. He never imagined that it would become one of the most memorable moments of his life. It all started when the former owner of his new home told him about a worrying rumor.
Rumor had it that something was hidden on the property. John could not get the idea out of his brain, so he started digging in the backyard. What he discovered made him cringe. He did not, without a doubt, sign up for this.
The house in the mysterious backyard
John Sims had heard about a friend’s selling of a house in midtown Tucson, Arizona, and was eager to buy. Since the owner was one of his buddies, he knew he would be in good hands. But after he finished the papers, he heard of a rumor about the property from an associate.
The elders of the community claim that they believe something fascinating is hidden away somewhere in it. Though his partner was never able to solve the puzzle, John might be able to. John would ultimately discover something that would delight people all across the state of Arizona.
His insatiable curiosity won out.
As John started to organize his belongings in his new house, he couldn’t help but think back to what his friend had said. He was curious, but he was also interested. He quickly had a strong desire to solve the mysteries surrounding his new house.
After digging, John started to look about his land. John dug four different holes in the backyard before realizing there was nothing there. If he couldn’t find it under the grass, then whatever it is, it’s got to be under the bricks.
X denotes the place.
John found the construction documents of his house when he was granted access to local records. It turned out that Whitaker Pools was an unusual facility that had been built in 1961. Now that he had proof that there was something buried on the property, John was even more determined to solve the mystery.
He enlisted consultants equipped with metal detectors to help him locate it. Once there and equipped with the appropriate tools, a group investigated John’s backyard. Before long, the metal detectors began to sound. John marked the locations of the two metal detector triggers with a huge X in the chalk.
making a connection
After the consultants were dismissed, John excitedly grabbed a shovel and got to work digging. His shovel struck something metal really quickly. Finally he felt something three feet under the grass. John decided to stop and think after making some progress.
Is it possible that this was a septic tank? What would happen if he succeeded in damaging or breaking a pipe? He had to exercise extreme caution. However, the more he dug with precision, the more he sensed that something was off. He was going to solve his own garden puzzle.
Opening the hatch
John later found what looked to be the aperture of a hatch. He bent to clear some dirt, then used a pry bar to pry open the metal cover. John was cautious not to breathe in too much since he might be in contact with mold spores or toxic gas vapors.
John left the lid open for nearly a day in order to let any air from below escape and let fresh air into the structure. He also knew that the air in the little space needs to be tested for mold before entering.
It wasn’t safe.
John glanced through the hatch the next morning. A spiral staircase that led below was revealed to him. Though most would have been so happy that they would have started walking down right immediately, John wasn’t that foolish.
He knew more now. As the captain of the Rural/Metro Fire Department, he needed someone close by in case the lid fell back in. There was no way he could lift the lid from underneath on his own now that he was home alone.
Forming a group
Because of his considerable training and experience in rescuing people from tight spaces, John was aware of all the risks. He could see that the staircase was unsteady and that going into the shaft by itself would be too dangerous.
It was John who decided to form a team. He summoned some friends over to lend a hand. Some might act as spotters while others could help him with the excavation when it was safe enough to explore what was inside the shaft.
Making a strategy
The team assembled the next day and set to work creating a blueprint. They discussed the best course of action as well. One of their first acts was to reinforce and rebuild the concrete framework surrounding the steps.
They built Sonotube cardboard around the entryway to keep everyone safe while they worked. John and his team worked hard to pour concrete layers and secure the rebar inside the hatch.
It took a lot of work.
To protect the team and the hatch, John had to cover the hatch with a tarpaulin. It was starting to become too hot in Arizona. When they took pauses from the heat, they speculated about what might be down there.
We had a lot of work ahead of us in order to get the answers. An electrical line has to be constructed in order to provide sufficient lighting within the shaft and to use power equipment when needed. To bring in fresh air, a black pipe was also installed into the shaft.
figuring out the entrance
They had finally finished building the area around the structure. However, the spiral staircase presented another challenge. The steps were so corroded that it was impossible to determine whether they could sustain any weight. They needed to figure out another way inside without going up the stairs.
John had to take great care to descend the team’s ladder without cutting himself on the rusty steps. John was excited beyond belief. He was going to be the first to figure out the code. It was finally the moment he had been waiting for.
There was still unresolved business.
When they reached the bottom, John was relieved to hear they did not need to dig any deeper. Still, more work needed to be done. The tunnel ceilings’ fiberglass covering was slowly breaking down. This suggested that there was still a risk to the building.
John was shocked to discover, after a thorough inspection, that the structure was essentially undamaged despite being abandoned for nearly fifty years. Later on, even though it was unoccupied at the time, it was found to be John’s backyard nuclear bomb bunker!
starting in the era of the Cold War
It all became obvious at once. The shelter was built during the Cold War, when the United States and the Soviet Union feared full-scale nuclear war. At that point, Whitaker Pools added bomb shelters to their line of business.
Actually, there were bomb shelters on several sites around Tucson. In the case of a nuclear war, that was the best a responsible family man could do at the time to protect his loved ones.
Tucson’s historical past
Bombs and Tucson, it turns out, have a long history together. Tucson was dubbed the “rocket town” because it possessed eighteen ballistic missiles that could cross continents and destroy an area of 900 square miles.
By the conclusion of the Cold War, almost all of the missiles in the missile silos had been rendered unusable, but the government continued to keep them top secret. Most nuclear bunkers were dismantled or shut up in the early 1980s.
growing in acceptance
John shared his garden discovery on Reddit and quickly became well-known. The post has received hundreds of comments in a matter of hours. Local publications and TV shows started getting in touch to set up interviews about it.
The story was covered by international outlets such as the Daily Mail. John’s tale has also been told in Japan. Undoubtedly a noteworthy finding. Tucson locals started to fear as well, in case they had one in their backyard.
What happens after that?
The attention he received helped John make relationships with people in the community who had fallout shelters. He had the chance to ask them about their cleaning procedure and get advice on how to use it going forward.
John wants to build a museum dedicated to the Cold War, but most others turned theirs into wine cellars or man caves. After conducting a great deal of research on the Cold War era, John started collecting relics such as Geiger counters, water supply barrels, HAM radios, and sanitation kits.
His thoughts after making this discovery
“I was really hoping it was going to be a little microcosm… a time capsule full of radiation detectors, cots, civil defense boxes, and stuff like that,” John stated in an interview. Sadly, the bomb shelter was devoid of any furnishings at all.
John also talked about his extensive reading on the Cold War. He believes that the Cuban Missile Crisis was probably the primary cause of Tucson residents’ decision to construct bomb shelters in their backyards during the 1960s.
Suggestions for Tucson residents
John suggests that Tucson locals look through City of Tucson or Pima County data to see whether there is a bomb shelter located in their backyard. The information will probably be in the building permits.
John also warns everyone not to dive in too quickly when someone finds a bomb shelter in the yard. John continued by saying that it’s generally not a good idea to jump into earthly openings because the poisonous air in a tunnel or cave-in can render a person quickly unconscious.
requesting financial support
John intends to completely remodel the bomb shelter. But he didn’t have that much money. He set up a GoFundMe campaign to gather money for the renovation of his bomb bunker from the 1960s. He also planned to restore the interior in addition to the entryway.
John’s first priority was to replace the steps so that everyone could enter safely. John and the remodeling crew may now enter and exit the building safely, something he was only able to do with the money he was able to raise.
23 Backhanded “Compliments” That Are Actually Insults
Everyone has been guilty of giving compliments that turn out to be less-than-sincere upon closer inspection. However, backhanded “compliments” are some of the worst, especially since they’re disguised as sweet remarks. It’s important for friends to be honest with each other, of course, but couching hard truths in fake compliments is rarely the way to go. (Unless you’re auditioning for a Real Housewives franchise, of course, in which case you can carry on.) If you’re ever on the receiving end of a backhanded compliment from a friend, the real meaning might not even sink in until hours, or even days, later.
While backhanded compliments typically stem from the speaker’s own insecurities, that doesn’t make them any less hurtful, says Sherese Ezelle, LMHC, LCPC, a licensed behavioral therapist. And when they come from a friend, a backhanded compliment is likely to sting even more — and may even damage your relationship.
Backhanded compliments run the gamut from clueless comments to rude remarks, and can also be a form of microaggression, Ezelle says. If it seems like your pal has crossed a boundary, she recommends disputing their comment in the moment by calmly asking for more info. “More often than not, to challenge them on the spot allows for the individual delivering the ‘compliment’ a chance to defend or further explain their intent,” Ezelle tells Bustle. “You want to be sure to give an opportunity for conversation so that growth can happen and friendships can be preserved.”
Of course, different friendships have different dynamics. Some close friends tease each other mercilessly and, as long as everyone’s on the same page, it tends to be OK. That said, it’s alright to recognize when something feels more hurtful than funny, or more like passive-aggressiveness than silly banter, Ezelle says. If backhanded compliments seem to be a habit rather than an exception, you can always tell your friend to buzz off — or look for a new friend circle.
These 23 backhanded compliment examples can help remind you of what a barely-concealed dig really sounds like. That way, the next time your friend claims to love your outfit or announces that they find your apartment “cozy”, you’ll know exactly how to handle it.
1. “Your Instagram Makes You Seem So Fun!”
Why it’s backhanded: On the one hand, it’s good to know all your careful filtering and captioning haven’t been in vain. But when your friend says your Instagram seems fun, they may be implying that the real you is much less interesting than the image you’re trying to project.
How to respond: “Because I am fun!”
What they could have said instead: “I’m so inspired by the way you curate your feed. It really shows off your creative side.”
2. “You Look So Great In That Photo. I Can’t Even See Your Acne!”
Why it’s backhanded: The nice compliment is immediately weighed down by the acne comment. They’re basically saying you typically have a flaw, but in this photo, you only look great because that flaw is removed. “It would be particularly hurtful if you also had an insecurity about your complexion,” says Sarah Dumoff, LCSW, a psychotherapist and founder of private practice here/now.
How to respond: “Thanks. I love this picture too, though I feel good in photos even when my skin isn’t ‘perfect.’”
What they could have said instead: “Omg, you look amazing!”
3. “I Didn’t Expect You To Get The Job. Congratulations!”
Why it’s backhanded: When a friend makes a point of mentioning their low expectations, it takes away from their congratulations.
How to respond: “I worked really hard for this. Go me!”
What they could have said instead: “I was rooting for you and am so relieved it went well!”
4. “You’re So Independent. It’s No Wonder You Haven’t Found Someone Yet.”
Why it’s backhanded: Among all the things ambitious people are tired of hearing, this is probably the most common. In theory, such a remark compliments your sense of autonomy; in practice, it implies that your independence is driving potential significant others away. As an added bonus, it perpetuates the idea that you have to compromise your sense of independence in order to be attractive. Yikes.
How to respond: “Yup! And I’ll know someone’s right for me when they respect that.”
What they could have said instead: “If you ever want to get back into the dating pool, I know someone’s going to fall immediately for your drive.”
5. “I Love How You Don’t Care How You Come Across.”
Why it’s backhanded: Your friend may profess to love your devil-may-care attitude, but what they’re really saying is that they think you’re too “out there.” Either that, or they’re making a salty comment because they’re envious of your laid-back attitude.
How to respond: “Yes! It’s taken a lot of work to get my confidence to this level. I try not to focus on what others think anymore.”
What they could have said instead: “You always seem so confident and relaxed. Tell me all your secrets.”
6. “I Wish I Was As Chill As You About All This Clutter.”
Why it’s backhanded: The real translation may be, “Your place isn’t cleaned to my exact standards and I need you to know that.” Regardless of their intention, it’s rude to make comments when you’ve been invited into someone’s private space.
How to respond: “Really? What would you do differently?” Sometimes asking someone to explain their comment is a way to get them to pause, reflect, and realize they’re being mean.
What they could have said instead: “Thanks for having me over!”
7. “That New Haircut Looks So Much Better Than Your Old One.”
Why it’s backhanded: They’re right — your new ‘do does look fabulous. But no need to be rude about what you looked like literally an hour ago. It may also make you wonder how long they’ve secretly disliked your hair.
How to respond: “I’m all about changing up my look. I’ve loved all my hairstyles and this one’s great, too.”
What they could have said instead: “Wait, this so, so good.”
8. “I Love How You’ll Just Wear Anything.”
Why it’s backhanded: If you’re getting ready together, chances are this comment is constructive and your friend is trying to prevent you from leaving the house in a not-so-great look. If they make this comment once you’re already out, however, that’s when it’s officially rude — and it might even plant a seed of self-doubt that ruins your whole night.
How to respond: “Is that a hint? What’s wrong with my outfit?” You can be honest with each other, laugh it off, and ask if they’d like to offer some advice.
What they could have said instead: “Hold up, hold up. Do you still have those wide-leg pants? Those would be perfect for tonight.”
9. “I Would Never Be Able To Pull Off That Outfit!”
Why it’s backhanded: While it sounds like they’re admiring your style, your friend is likely saying they wouldn’t be caught dead in anything similar.
How to respond: “Thanks, yea. I’ve been feelin’ myself lately. I’m all about the cargo pants trend. Can you believe they’re back?” This is a way to brush off their comment and show your friend that your “weird” look is deliberate — and fashionable.
What they could have said: “Ugh, I can’t keep up with trends. Can you share your Pinterest with me?”
10. “You’re So Charming When You Make An Effort.”
Why it’s backhanded: Great! You’re being charming and suave right now. Mission accomplished. But what about when you’re lounging in your soft pants? Your friend is kind of saying that you’re not usually this charismatic.
How to respond: “I don’t always feel the need to be ‘on’ around my close friends, but sure, I can pull out the charm when need be.” You can also mention that their comment was hurtful. Remember, when in doubt, call it out.
What they could have said: “Bestie, you’re a shining star of wit and charm.”
11. “You Look So Professional With Your Hair Straight.”
Why it’s backhanded: Talk about microaggressive “complimenting” styles. On one end of the spectrum, they’re announcing that they believe you usually look bad or unkempt. On the other, they’re saying curly or natural hair is somehow unprofessional. And that’s not OK.
How to respond: “Well, I’m glad to know that you think my natural hair makes me look so unprofessional.”
What they could have said instead: Nothing. Or, “Did you do something different with your hair?”
12. “I Wish I Didn’t Have Any Responsibilities Like You.”
Why it’s backhanded: People might be inclined to say this to their friends who live with their parents or to those who don’t have kids. Living rent-free or child-free can be less stressful than many alternatives, but that doesn’t mean anyone’s life is totally carefree or without responsibility. Saying otherwise is passive-aggressive at worst and presumptuous at best.
How to respond: “Oh wow, do I make it look that way? I have a million plates spinning at once. How are things going on your end?” This will get to the real root of the issue, which is that they’re overwhelmed.
What they could have said instead: “Do you have any spare time to listen to me vent? I’ve been so stressed lately.”
13. “Your Place Is So Cozy.”
Why it’s backhanded: Calling someone’s apartment “cozy” is often code for “super tiny” or even “so tiny I don’t understand how you live here.” It’s also condescending since not everyone can afford a sprawling abode — or wants to live in one. It just isn’t what you want to hear when you’ve invited folks over for a housewarming.
How to respond: “Thank you! I put a lot of work into the decor. Wait, did you see my record player over here?”
What they could have said instead: “Thanks so much for having me over! I always love how you decorate. Oh! I brought a quiche.”
14. “You’re Coping With This So Much Better Than I Thought You Would.”
Why it’s backhanded: You’re literally on your couch in a onesie surrounded by tissues and rubbing at your puffy eyes — and this is better than what your friend thought? How did they expect you to deal with a breakup? You might not want to know.
How to respond: If you can muster some cheekiness, say, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal.” If you’re too upset say, “I just need someone to listen to me, if that’s OK.” Also, side note: If a certain friend isn’t supporting you the right way during a tough time, try reaching out to someone else. Another friend, family member, or therapist may be a better bet.
What they could have said instead: “What you’re going through is one of the toughest things ever. You’re handling it so well, but it’s also OK if you need to take more time for yourself.”
15. “You Look So Much More Awake With Makeup.”
Why it’s backhanded: Your friend may be trying to give you a compliment, but this one sends the message that you usually look bad or tired whenever you deign to go outside without blush or mascara. It might be their way of judging — or they simply might not realize why it’s a rude thing to say.
How to respond: “Wait, what do I normally look like?”
What they could have said instead: “I need that blush. Where’d you get it?”
16. “You Look Refreshed Today. I Almost Didn’t Recognize You!”
Why it’s backhanded: According to psychologist Dr. Roberta T. Ballard, Ph.D., this is a common backhanded compliment. It’s something you might hear from an office friend who means well, but doesn’t realize they’re implying you usually look messy or tired. Not to mention, it’s never smart to comment on someone’s appearance, especially if you don’t know what’s going on with their health or personal life.
How to respond: “Thanks. Guess it was that extra cup of coffee I had today.” And leave it at that.
What they could have said instead: “That color blue looks amazing on you.”
17. “You’re So Chill In Your Relationship.”
Why it’s backhanded: “It may be innocent admiration of your patience in your relationship, or it may feel like something else is being implied,” says Lauren Spinella, LPC, a licensed mental health therapist and owner of Peaceful Path Counseling. Are they really impressed by your patience during a tough time in your relationship, or are they implying you’re a doormat?
How to respond: “Do you feel like I’m too chill?” According to Spinella, it’s totally fair to ask for some genuine clarification in a non-accusatory way. That’ll open the door to a deeper convo.
What they could have said instead: “I really admire how patient you are. I’m also a little concerned that you’re dealing with so much and want to make sure you’re OK.”
18. “You Look Great For Your Age!”
Why it’s backhanded: While this one’s often said with the best of intentions, it’s steeped in ageism and the idea that you can only look good if you look young. “Sometimes the person giving the backhanded compliment might not have the intention of saying something hurtful, however, the impact is still there,” says therapist Emily Sharp, MA, LCAT, ATR-BC, RYT-200.
How to respond: “I’m sure you didn’t intend to, but when you make comments about my appearance it makes me uncomfortable.” Sharp says this will get the message across in a diplomatic way.
What they could have said instead: “You look great!”
19. “You’re So Articulate.”
Why it’s backhanded: Calling you articulate is a way to express shock that you said something intelligent. It has the same vibe as, “Wow, I didn’t expect you to be good at this.” The “you’re so articulate” comment also comes with a long history of racism, especially when aimed at Black people, Ballard says.
How to respond: “What did I say that surprised you?” Again, asking someone to explain their comment is a subtle way of calling them out.
What they could have said instead: Nothing. Or something like, “It’s always such a pleasure to talk to you. I’m glad we ran into each other.”
20. “You’re So Pretty. I Don’t Get Why You’re Still Single.”
Why it’s backhanded: This backhanded compliment can send your brain swirling through a list of possible meanings. Are they saying something else is wrong with you? Or that you’re incomplete until you meet a partner? Whatever it is, it won’t feel good.
How to respond: “How are the two related?”Depending on the type of relationship you have with your friend, you can straight up call them out or ignore them, Sharp says. “You can also respond to a portion of the backhanded compliment that feels genuine, in order to maintain positivity,” she tells Bustle. “Everyone handles these situations differently, but the important part is validating your feelings for yourself.”
What they could have said instead: “We haven’t chatted about our dating lives in forever! Are you talking to anyone or nah?”
21. “I Love Your Nails. It Must Be Nice To Have So Much Extra Time In Your Day To Pamper Yourself.”
Why it’s backhanded: “This may be an innocent comment,” Spinella tells Bustle. “But it’s also understandable for someone to be put off by hearing it. You might think, are they implying that I don’t have a lot going on or that I am prioritizing the wrong things?”
How to respond: “What do you mean?” While it’s often possible to glean the intent of a backhanded compliment, Spinella says it’s best to ask for clarification, especially if the words hurt.
What they could have said instead: “I love how you did your nails! It can be so hard to prioritize self-care with a busy schedule. Maybe you can help me do the same?”
22. “You Look So Comfortable!”
Why it’s backhanded: This isn’t a real compliment, says wellness coach Dr. Cali Estes. Instead of saying what they really think, it’s a roundabout way for your friend to indicate that they don’t like your outfit or that they think it’s inappropriate for a situation.
How to respond: “Thanks! I’m so grateful to be comfortable so I can fully enjoy myself at this wedding.”
What they could have said instead: “I love your outfit. I really wish I would have chosen something more comfortable, too.”
23. “You’re Incredible For Working That Hard! I Could Never Leave My Cat Alone All Day.”
Why it’s backhanded: While it feels like they’re complimenting your work ethic, what they’re actually doing is commenting on your choices as a caretaker. This one’s also commonly aimed at new moms, according to Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn, DO, a psychiatrist and chief medical officer of LifeStance Health.
How to respond: “What do you mean by that?” Patel-Dunn recommends asking for more info. For instance, “Ouch, I feel a bit hurt by that comment. Can you clarify what you mean because this is what I heard…”
What they could have said instead: “You’re the queen of getting stuff done. How do you do it?”
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