It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
If you see a man with one painted fingernail, here’s what it means
Elliot Costello’s life was drastically altered in a way he never would have imagined in 2013 after traveling to an orphanage in Cambodia.
He was unaware, though, that a meeting would occur that would alter thousands of other people’s lives as well.
It all began in 2013 when Australian social entrepreneur Elliot Costello got to know a young child named Thea.
The 10-year-old girl, Thea, had been saved from a horrible situation, but regrettably, she had wound up in an orphanage. She had been sexually and physically abused for two years, and the torture had a lasting effect. Regretfully, if Elliot hadn’t existed, we might never have learned about this courageous young girl.
However, let’s start at the beginning.
Thea’s life was happy once she was born. The Cambodian girl was loved and cared for by her mother, father, and other family members just like any other child. Unfortunately, fate had other ideas for her. Her father unexpectedly passed away one day, and his loss was tragic in many ways. Not only had it been a painful and emotional experience, but Thea’s father had been the only provider for the family. The family was left in dire straits after his death.
When things became so awful for Thea, her mother had to make the painful choice to place her daughter in an orphanage since she was no longer able to care for her. Sadly, the little girl would end up spending a miserable life there.
The director of the orphanage allegedly sexually and physically abused Thea every day for two years, according to Polished Man.
Thea was eventually moved to another Hagar International-run orphanage in Phnom Penh. Australian social entrepreneur Elliot Costello became close to the boy during a visit there by playing games of naughts and crosses. The 10-year-old child, in spite of everything she had experienced, exuded happiness and optimism.
Thea used to constantly have nail polish on her tiny nails, so one day she wanted to paint Elliot’s. They had a great time together as they sat and chatted.
“I promised her that I would always remember her and her suffering,” Elliot remarked as she painted one of his nails
Elliot was inspired to try and modify men’s behavior after meeting with Thea in order to reduce the number of children who experience sexual abuse. In order to demonstrate support, he also came up with the idea to launch a trend where males paint their nails.
Another symbolic interpretation of painting one nail is that it stands for the one in five children who may experience sexual abuse. It is immediately clear from looking at the numbers that we must put in a lot of effort to solve this problem.
Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults involve minors who are 17 years of age or younger, according to the YMCA. Unbelievably, one in six boys and one in four girls will experience sexual abuse before they become 18 years old.
Elliot believes that since men account for over 90% of this kind of abuse against children, they should be the ones to drive change. In light of this, a large number of international superstars have joined the nail painting craze.
Polished Man is still working to provide a better, safer environment for children today. Their principal goal is to stop child sexual abuse. “Being a Polished Man means challenging violent behavior and language, both locally and globally,” the organization states.
Chris Hemsworth is one well-known person who has taken a strong stance; he posed for the organization with a painted nail.
It takes more than just remembering to purchase flowers, shouting rounds, or lifting a lot to be a @PolishedMan. Saying no to violence against children is the main goal, according to Hemsworth.
Famous surfers Kelly Slater and Zac Efron also participated in the social media challenge, and maybe more people will openly speak out against child abuse.
Although the campaign began quietly a few years prior, by 2014 it had drawn the interest of numerous prominent media outlets.
The organization has persevered in its hard work and has now existed for a decade. Polished Man claims that $8.7 million has been raised to fund trauma prevention and recovery initiatives for women and children who have experienced or are at danger of experiencing violence in Australia and other
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