Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My MIL Demanded to Share a Hotel Room with My Husband During Our Anniversary Trip
Our 10th wedding anniversary trip was supposed to be about reconnecting and romance. Instead, it turned into a bizarre nightmare when my mother-in-law decided she couldn’t let her “precious son” out of her sight. And that wasn’t even the worst part.
You see, Patrick’s mom has always had a knack for inserting herself where she doesn’t belong. But when she barged into our anniversary suite and claimed it for herself, I knew I couldn’t let this slide.
I just had to figure out how to make her pay for her antics without ruining my marriage.
A woman looking at her mother-in-law | Source: Midjourney
So, my husband and I recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.
We planned a weeklong trip to a luxury resort, and it was our first real getaway since our son was born five years ago. The idea was simple. Unwind, reconnect, and maybe reignite a little romance. I’d been looking forward to it for months.
That is, until my mother-in-law, Victoria, inserted herself into our plans.
A woman standing in her house | Source: Midjourney
From the start, it was clear she saw herself as the third partner in our marriage.
At our wedding, she hijacked our first dance, taking Patrick’s hand before I had the chance. Since then, she’s made a habit of sidelining me at every opportunity. She made sure she was the center of attention on every occasion whether it was a birthday or a holiday.
When Patrick and I mentioned our anniversary trip, she immediately chimed in with her suggestion.
“Why don’t I come along?” she asked. “I could watch the little one while you two have some alone time.”
A woman talking to her daughter-in-law | Source: Midjourney
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Alone time? With her hovering? No thanks.
Patrick, ever the peacemaker, tried to frame it as a win-win.
“Think about it, Anna. She’ll take care of our son during the day, and we’ll still have the evenings to ourselves.”
Reluctantly, I agreed. “Fine. But she’s staying in her own room. I’m not sharing my suite.”
“Oh, of course!” she assured me, her smile a little too wide. “I wouldn’t dream of imposing.”
A woman in her son’s house | Source: Midjourney
Fast forward to the day we arrived at the resort.
As we checked in, Victoria eyed the staff with that judgmental air she always carried. Her nose wrinkled slightly when she saw her room key. It had the shower icon on it, while ours had the bath icon.
“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked.
She sighed dramatically.
“Oh, nothing…” she began. “It’s just that I really dislike showers. My bones need a good soak in a tub.”
My eyes narrowed.
The suite Patrick and I had booked, complete with a king-sized bed and a luxurious bathtub, was clearly the target of her complaint.
A ceramic bathtub | Source: Unsplash
I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could say anything, she marched toward the bellhop, snatched our suite key, and headed straight for the elevator.
“Mom, wait!” Patrick called, but she didn’t stop.
The poor bellhop barely had time to keep up with her as she barreled down the hallway.
We followed her to the suite, and by the time we arrived, she was already unpacking her things. She tossed her bag onto the bed, fluffed the pillows, and smiled at me like a cat that had just caught a mouse.
A woman standing in a hotel room | Source: Midjourney
“This will do nicely,” she announced. Then, turning to me, she added with a saccharine tone, “You can stay in the other room with the child, and I’ll stay here with my son.”
Wait, what? Did I hear that right?
I looked at Patrick, expecting him to say something. But he just stood there, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “Mom, come on…”
“Oh, don’t be difficult, dear,” she said, brushing him off. “We’re family. This is what families do.”
A woman smiling in a hotel room | Source: Midjourney
Her message was loud and clear. I was the outsider. The third wheel.
And the “I need a bath” excuse? It was just a smokescreen to take my anniversary suite right out from under me.
I stared at Patrick, waiting for him to tell his mom she was being completely out of line. I mean, who demands to share a hotel room with their grown son on his anniversary trip?
But instead of standing up to her, Patrick just shrugged.
A man standing near a window | Source: Midjourney
“It’s just for sleeping,” he mumbled. “We’ll still do the rest of the trip together. Let’s not make it a big deal.”
Not make it a big deal? I wanted to scream. But I plastered on my best fake smile instead.
“Of course. Whatever makes you comfortable,” I said sweetly, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Victoria, oblivious to my tone, beamed. “I knew you’d understand, Anna. You’re such a good wife.”
A woman talking to her daughter-in-law in a hotel room | Source: Midjourney
Inside, I was fuming.
This was supposed to be our anniversary trip, a chance for us to reconnect after years of juggling work, parenthood, and everything in between. I wasn’t about to let her turn me into the third wheel on my own vacation.
If she wanted to act like the queen of the resort, fine. I had a plan brewing, and I knew she wouldn’t see it coming.
The next morning, I acted like I was completely fine with the new sleeping arrangements.
A young woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
Over breakfast, I smiled, nodded, and let Victoria ramble on about how “thoughtful” Patrick was for including her on the trip.
“I just love spending time with my son,” she said, patting his hand. “It’s so rare these days.”
Patrick gave me an apologetic glance, but I waved it off.
“No worries,” I said. “Actually, I’ve got a surprise for you both.”
Victoria’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. “A surprise?”
A woman sitting for breakfast in a hotel | Source: Midjourney
“Yep,” I nodded. “I’ve booked a romantic couples’ photoshoot at the resort this morning. I thought it would be a great way to capture some memories.”
Patrick frowned. “A couples’ photoshoot?”
“You’ll love it,” I said, keeping my expression innocent. “I talked to the resort staff last night, and they made all the arrangements. You and Mom are going to look great together.”
Victoria clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, how lovely! Patrick, isn’t this sweet of Anna?”
A woman smiling while talking to her son | Source: Midjourney
Patrick didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t protest. He was still in that awkward middle ground where he didn’t want to upset his mom or me. Poor guy had no idea what he was in for.
When they arrived at the photoshoot, the photographer greeted them with a big, cheerful smile. “Ah, here you are! We’re ready for your session.”
Patrick’s eyes widened. “Wait, no—”
“Oh, don’t be modest!” the photographer interrupted. “You two look like such a lovely couple.”
A person holding a camera | Source: Unsplash
I watched from a distance as the photographer posed them by the fountain, gushing over their “chemistry” and “love story.” Patrick looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, while Victoria basked in the attention.
I could barely hold back my laughter. This was just the beginning.
The next morning, Patrick and Victoria headed to what they thought would be a casual resort activity. Little did they know, I’d signed them up for an exclusive couples’ tango class.
A woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
The instructor, Marco, greeted them with dramatic flair. “Welcome to the dance of love!”
“Wait, what?” Patrick asked as his eyes widened in horror.
Victoria clasped her hands in delight. “Oh, Patrick, this is so nice! I’ve always wanted to learn tango.”
I lounged nearby, pretending not to notice as Patrick gave me a desperate look. I just sipped my coffee and waved.
A woman holding a cup of coffee | Source: Pexels
“Now,” Marco began, “tango is about connection! Mr. Patrick, place your hand on your wife’s waist and gaze into her eyes. The soul must speak through the dance.”
Patrick looked ready to bolt. “She’s not my—”
“No excuses! Dance is truth!” Marco declared, clapping his hands.
Victoria leaned in, practically giddy. “Come on, Patrick. Let’s show them what we’ve got!”
Reluctantly, Patrick placed his hand on her waist and shuffled through the steps as Marco barked instructions. Every few seconds, Patrick tripped or stepped on Victoria’s foot.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter as I watched his misery unfold.
A close-up shot of a woman’s face | Source: Unsplash
“More passion!” Marco exclaimed. “The woman must feel the fire in her partner’s gaze!”
I saw Patrick muttered something under his breath that I’m sure wasn’t appropriate.
By the end of the class, Victoria was beaming.
“That was wonderful!” she exclaimed. “We should take dance lessons back home.”
Patrick groaned. “I think I’ve had enough tango for a lifetime.”
But the day wasn’t over yet.
That evening, I sent them off to the resort’s signature sunset dinner cruise. The staff pulled out all the stops, complete with a violinist, rose petals, and a candlelit table on the deck.
A close-up shot of cutlery on a table | Source: Unsplash
As they boarded, the captain greeted them warmly. “Welcome aboard! We’ve prepared the most romantic table for you two lovebirds.”
Patrick looked like he wanted to jump overboard. “Uh, we’re not—”
Victoria waved regally, basking in the attention. “Thank you! This is simply delightful.”
I waved at them from the dock.
“Bon voyage!” I called out with a grin.
Patrick’s face turned beet red. He glanced back at me, clearly catching on that I was behind all of this.
The cruise lasted two hours, and by the time they returned, Patrick was done.
A man standing in a hotel lobby | Source: Midjourney
He marched over to me the second Victoria disappeared into her room.
“What the hell is going on?” he hissed, his face red with embarrassment. “Why does everyone think we’re a couple?”
I blinked innocently. “Oh, I have no idea. I guess the staff must’ve misunderstood when I said it was our anniversary trip. I just wanted to make sure your mom had a good time, since she insisted on coming.”
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “Anna… I messed up, didn’t I?”
I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow. “You think?”
A woman talking to her husband | Source: Midjourney
“I should’ve told her no,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I thought it would be easier to let her come along. I didn’t realize how ridiculous it would get.”
“Well,” I said, taking a sip of my champagne, “now you know.”
The next morning, as we packed to leave, Patrick was tripping over himself to apologize. “I’ll never let her interfere like this again. Next time, we’re hiring a nanny.”
“Sounds perfect,” I replied with a satisfied smile.
A woman smiling while looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
Victoria, oblivious to the chaos she’d caused, declared it the best vacation ever.
So, what did I learn from this? It’s that sometimes, you don’t need to raise your voice to make a point. You just need a little creativity to teach a lesson that won’t be forgotten.
Do you agree?
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Leave a Reply