Do I Need to Tell My Husband What I Caught Our Son Doing?

Do I Need to Tell My Husband What I Caught Our Son Doing?

In the heart of a serene farmhouse nestled on a sprawling property, a mother’s world turned upside down as she stumbled upon a painful truth. A family reunion, initially intended as an opportunity for togetherness took an unexpected turn, leaving the matriarch in a state of shock and confusion.

A red barn house | Source: Pexels

A red barn house | Source: Pexels

In July 2020, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum. The Original Poster (OP) revealed how her brother, aged 37, along with his wife and two children, moved into the large farmhouse owned by her and her farmer husband.

The intention was to create a harmonious living arrangement, allowing everyone to work remotely and providing OP’s nieces with the charm of farm life. OP, aged 44, was already a mother to three children, all of whom lived with her and her husband. The kids included an 18-year-old son, a 16-year-old daughter, and a 13-year-old daughter.

Woman holding a shopping cart in a grocery store | Source: Shutterstock

Woman holding a shopping cart in a grocery store | Source: Shutterstock

On the day her brother arrived at her farmhouse, OP went on a routine trip to buy groceries with her son. She bought food while he purchased his gym supplements from the nearest pharmacy. When her son returned home, OP noticed an unexpected item in her 18-year-old son’s bag — two packs of condoms, totaling 72. She dismissed it at the time, attributing it to responsible behavior in a newfound relationship.

Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.

A family of three enjoying a walk on their farm | Source: Shutterstock

A family of three enjoying a walk on their farm | Source: Shutterstock

Months passed, and the family routine continued with apparent normalcy. The brother, his wife, and the eldest son engaged in early morning runs around the farm, creating an illusion of a close-knit family.

OP didn’t sense anything unusual until June 2020 when her son and SIL supposedly left for their morning run but she didn’t see them make any rounds around the farm, despite being awake in the morning baking something delicious for the family.

“I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road (I [thought] nothing of this everything seemed normal). My SIL and son seemed to have a very good bond,” explained OP. However, the idyllic facade would soon shatter.

Woman looking outside through the blinds | Source: Shutterstock

Woman looking outside through the blinds | Source: Shutterstock

A day before sharing her story online, OP was returning home from a friend’s house early in the morning when something struck her. The sun wasn’t up yet, and the sky was a little dark, allowing her to notice that the cabin on her farm was open with a light still on.

OP walked over to turn off the lights and close the door, thinking that perhaps one of the workers forgot to lock up the cabin. Just when she was about to close the door and switch off the lights, something caught OP’s attention. Moving closer, she heard people making love, which triggered her to sneak a peek.

Couple sleeping together | Source: Shutterstock

Couple sleeping together | Source: Shutterstock

To OP’s dismay, it was none other than her oldest son and 34-year-old sister-in-law sharing physical intimacy. Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.

Reeling from the shock and feeling conflicted, OP couldn’t help but wonder about the timeline of her son and SIL’s allegedly close relationship. The shock was palpable, leaving OP grappling with a myriad of emotions.

The revelation posed a series of challenging decisions – should she confront them? Should she disclose the truth to her brother? What about her husband? The weight of the secrets she now harbored cast a somber shadow over the once-harmonious family home.

Worried senior woman sitting on a couch | Source: Shutterstock

Worried senior woman sitting on a couch | Source: Shutterstock

Reflecting on the signs she had overlooked–the unexplained morning runs, the seemingly close relationship between her son and sister-in-law, and the abundance of condoms–OP found herself at a crossroads. Thereafter, she turned to random strangers online for help and advice.

OP’s narrative received an overwhelming response from fellow readers, many of whom shared their thoughts in the comments. “I grew up on a farm and I’m just going to give you the advice no one here has yet – hide the guns. Lock them up in a safe if you have one and put the key in a new place. No matter how you handle this it’s gonna be bad. I’m surprised at people’s advice to go to your brother first,” suggested one user.

“Talk to your husband first, then your son with your husband, then your brother. l based on those conversations. Your husband deserves to know what’s happening with his son and you need to protect your kid before your brothers feelings [sic],” divulged another commenter.

Husband comforts anxious wife | Source: Shutterstock

Husband comforts anxious wife | Source: Shutterstock

“First, tell your husband so you’ll have some support and backup. Next, you need to ascertain the nature of this relationship…You’ll have to eventually fess up to your brother and what happens next will depend on the situation…The only sure thing is that your brother and SIL are almost certainly done,” quipped another netizen.

After all the advice the OP got from the commenters she decided to follow suit and tell her husband. Her husband was angry about what his son did and could not believe his ears. Then as a couple, they confronted the son and he was already aware they knew so he did not deny anything.

A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock

A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock

He confessed that it all started at the SIL party, when they drank too much and ended up having intercourse in the bathroom. Since then they have been meeting up at hotels. The news eventually got to the brother and he took his children and left.

What are your thoughts on this story? How would you handle the situation if you were in OP’s shoes?

What Men’s Beauty Standards Look Like in Different Countries

The mainstream definition of what an ideal man should look like varies from country to country. Just like women, a lot of men try to follow common beauty trends in order to be seen as more attractive. The cultural difference in what exactly people consider objectively beautiful might come as a surprise.

Bright Side did a fun bit of research about what people consider to be the ideal male beauty standard in many countries around the world. Looking at the most beloved male celebs will tell you about what is considered attractive.

1. United States and Canada

According to People’s magazine, the most attractive men in the US for the past 3 years are Paul Rudd (Ant-Man), Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther), and singer John Legend.

The usual definition of beauty, when it comes to men in the United States and Canada, is having a muscular physique, ruggedness, and golden skin. However, in the past couple of years, especially among the younger generation, an androgynous look has become more desirable.

2. India

According to the poll, the most attractive men in India are actors Shah Rukh Khan (Don 2), Aamir Khan (Like Stars on Earth), and Hrithik Roshan (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara). Even though Shah Rukh Khan took first place, he actually opened up, saying that he has been called “ugly and unconventional” in the past.

The main beauty standard in India is having a lighter skin tone, which gets promoted a lot on TV. Other than that, Indian standards are pretty close to American: tall, muscular man, who have clear skin and a full head of hair.

3. United Kingdom

According to a 2021 poll, the most attractive man in the UK is Tom Hardy (Inception), and 2022 research suggests that Richard Madden (Game of Thrones) has a huge shot of winning that title.

The research data says that the ideal type of man for British people has an athletic build, brown eyes, short dark-brown hair, and some facial hair. In fact, men with beards are found to be over 60% more attractive than men without them.

4. Philippines

The most attractive men in the Philippines have been noted as Josh Cullen Santos from the boy group SB19 and the actor Alden Richards (Imagine You & Me).

The beauty standard in the Philippines has shifted and instead of looking macho, the men care about their appearance a lot and go for a more beautiful look, so they go to salons to get facials. Other standards include having dark hair, being at least 5’9“, and having a more “mestizo” look, which means being mixed with white.

5. South Korea

While western countries prefer men who are athletically built, South Korea likes more of a skinny, androgynous-looking body (not too skinny, fat, or muscular) for men. Men need to be a little bit soft, with slim facial features, double eyelids, and lighter skin.

Male celebrities in South Korea also do not shy away from using makeup or dyeing their hair, actors dye it black to look more youthful while idols dye it “fun” colors, and it is not considered to be revolutionary like it would be in the US.

6. Mexico

Mexicans go for a more “macho” look, which means being extremely masculine, as opposed to South Korea which prefers a more androgynous look. The list of the most attractive men includes actors Diego Boneta (Luis Miguel) and Ryan Guzman (9-1-1) in the first 2 spots.

7. Germany

According to research, German women prefer their men to be taller, with either black or brown short hair. The largest percent of the respondents said that they would like their man to be muscular, but skinny men took a close second place.

Football player Marco Reus and the actor Thore Schölermann have been named the most attractive men.

8. Italy

In Italy, men being overly masculine does not have much importance in terms of their attractiveness. In fact, a lot of men are into grooming and styling their body hair, and Italian men do not shy away from wearing “girlish” colors, like pink or purple.

The most attractive male celebrities are considered to be Raoul Bova and Giulio Berruti.

9. Australia

Australian male beauty standards are focused on physical size and being muscular. While women perceive their bodies as heavier than ideal, men who follow beauty standards, on the contrary, think they are too skinny. The Hemsworth brothers are considered one of the ideals of Australian beauty.

10. The Netherlands

The Netherlands is considered to be a country that has the tallest people in the world, with the average height of a woman being 5’7″ (around 170 cm), and 6’0″ (around 183 cm) for men. Dutch women seek a male partner that is taller than them.

TV presenter Arie Boomsma and actor Michiel Huisman have been named 2 of the most attractive Dutch men, and their heights match up the beauty standard: Boomsma is 6’5 (around 198 cm), while Peelen is 6’1 (around 185 cm). Notably, both men are also muscular and have facial hair.

Which country’s standards align with your own? Do you think standards are hurtful for people’s self-esteem?

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