Bike thief temporarily thwarted by a lovable Golden Retriever being a terrible guard dog

The dog couldn’t care less that his owner was being robbed—he just wanted the thief to rub his belly.

People get dogs to be loving members of their families, but sometimes dogs have a second role—to guard the house. But not all dogs are made for guarding anything other than their favorite stuffed animal. Some dogs are too small to scare anyone away and some dogs will just lick intruders to death.

A Golden Retriever in San Diego just proved to his owners that he is definitely in the latter group. The shaggy dog caught a stranger stealing his owner’s $1,300, 2019 Electra 3-speed bicycle out of the family’s garage redhanded. But instead of barking to alert his humans or attempting to scare the bike thief, he happily asked for belly rubs.

If you thought the bike bandit was going to ignore the wagging tail and sweet doggy requests, then you’d be wrong. Now would be the perfect time to explain how the friendly dog stopped the robbery in its tracks.

“You’re so cool, come here! You’re the coolest dog I’ve ever known,” the thief tells the dog as he rubs his face. “I love you, too. Come here. You’re a sweetheart. I want you to come home with me.

Just a full-on, audible doggy-human love fest going on in the garage while the dog’s owner is none the wiser. The dog wasn’t working to distract the bike thief; he was there for his own personal gain, getting head scratches and belly rubs from all who enter the open garage. And while the dog momentarily thwarted the burglar, he didn’t prevent him from stealing the bike.

The man and the bike are now nowhere to be found, and there’s probably a sneaking suspicion that the family’s golden retriever wouldn’t alert anyone if the guy came back. A home surveillance camera caught the entire encounter, which was uploaded to TikTok where it has over 2.5 million views.