Who brings their parents to a first date? My boyfriend from a dating app did. But what really got me was the list of OUTRAGEOUS DEMANDS his parents brought with them. I knew I’d have to outwit them… but on my own terms.
When I virtually met Jacob on a dating site several months ago, we hit it off instantly. The connection felt real — the kind that makes your heart skip a beat when you see a new message notification. I grew to think that he was “the one,” but then when we actually met… well, let’s just say reality has a way of shattering our perfectly crafted illusions.
A woman holding a phone | Source: Unsplash
Three months of late-night texts and hour-long video calls had built up to this moment. Jacob wasn’t just another match; he was different.
While most guys led with cheesy pickup lines or bland “hey” messages, he had caught my attention with a detailed comment about my profile photo taken at Comic-Con.
“Is that a handmade Scarlet Witch costume?” he’d written. “The detail work is incredible!”
From there, our conversations flowed naturally. He listened, really listened, when I talked about my work as a graphic designer and my dreams of starting my own studio.
A woman using a computer | Source: Midjourney
He shared my love for true crime podcasts and could quote every episode of my favorite shows by heart. When I mentioned my sister’s battle with depression, he opened up about his own experiences with anxiety.
“I feel like I can tell you anything,” he’d said during one of our video calls, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’ve never connected with someone like this before.”
“Me neither,” I’d admitted, feeling my cheeks flush. “Sometimes I worry this is too good to be true.”
He’d laughed then, running a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person. Friday at Coffee Beanz? 7 p.m.?”
A man using a laptop | Source: Pexels
“It’s a date! Finally!” I’d chirped, unable to contain my excitement.
“See you on Friday!” He said as I hung up, blushing.
I spent the entire week planning my outfit, finally settling on a gorgeous dress that my best friend Sarah insisted brought out my eyes.
“He won’t know what hit him,” she’d said, helping me style my hair.
Friday evening found me standing outside Coffee Beanz, smoothing down my dress for the hundredth time. Through the window, I could see couples enjoying their meals, soft candlelight flickering across their faces.
People in a cafe | Source: Unsplash
My hands were shaking slightly as I pushed open the heavy wooden door, the warm aroma of garlic and fresh bread enveloping me. My eyes nervously darted around in search of Jacob.
“Lia! Over here!”
I turned toward Jacob’s familiar voice, my practiced smile freezing on my face. There he sat, but not ALONE.
An older couple sat beside him, their faces beaming with smiles. My heart, which had been filled with excitement all day, sank to my stomach.
“Hey… um, hi, what’s going on?” I managed, my brain struggling to process the scene before me.
A shocked woman | Source: Pexels
Jacob stood up, his bright smile unchanged as if this was completely normal. “Lia, I’m so excited to finally meet you! These are my parents, Linda and Patrick!”
Linda, a petite woman with perfectly coiffed gray hair and gold earrings that probably cost more than my monthly rent, gave me a practiced smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Patrick, sporting a dress shirt that seemed a size too small for his frame, barely looked up from his menu.
“Sit down, girl,” Linda patted the chair next to her, not next to Jacob. “While we wait for our appetizers, I have a few questions for you.”
An older lady smiling | Source: Midjourney
I sank into the chair, still trying to make sense of this ambush. The waiter appeared with water glasses, and I found myself wishing it was something stronger.
That’s when Linda pulled out a crisp sheet of paper from her designer handbag.
“Now then,” she cleared her throat, clicking her gold-plated pen. “I’ve prepared a brief questionnaire to help us get to know you better. I want you to fill it out.”
Sheets of paper on a table | Source: Pexels
My eyes scanned the paper she placed before me, each question worse than the last:
1. What is your current annual income and five-year career projection?
2. Please list any medical conditions, including a family history of genetic disorders.
3. How many romantic partners have you had, and what were the reasons for those relationships ending?
4. Do you own or lease your vehicle? What is your credit score?
5. Are you willing to sign a prenuptial agreement?
6. Do you plan to work after having children? If so, who will provide childcare?
7. What is your stance on living with in-laws?
8. Are you willing to host special occasions like Thanksgiving & Christmas every year without expecting a penny from your partner?
A startled woman covering her mouth | Source: Pexels
The questions went on and on like a never-ending train carriage. My water glass stopped halfway to my mouth. “I’m sorry, but is this for real?”
“Of course it is, dear,” Linda replied, her tone suggesting I was being deliberately difficult. “Our family has certain standards to maintain. We need to ensure any potential partners for our Jacob are… suitable.”
My eyes darted to Jacob, waiting for him to jump in, to say this was all a joke. But he just sat there, examining his napkin as if it held the secrets of the universe.
A man sitting casually | Source: Midjourney
Something snapped inside me. Three months of building this connection, sharing hopes and fears, only to be treated like a job applicant? No. This called for a different approach.
“Would you excuse me for just a moment?” I smiled sweetly. “Ladies’ room.”
Instead of heading to the restroom, I ducked into the convenience store next door. Five minutes later, I returned with my own notebook and pen.
“Before I answer your questions,” I said, sitting down with renewed confidence, “I have a few of my own.”
A woman holding a piece of paper | Source: Pexels
Linda’s perfectly plucked eyebrows shot up in surprise as I placed the paper with my questions on the table. She picked it up and began reading loudly, her face speaking volumes of her anger.
“Question one: At what point did you realize your son wasn’t capable of choosing his own partner?”
Patricks’s face reddened. Jacob finally looked up from his napkin.
“Question two: How many women have actually completed your interrogation process? Or do most run screaming before the credit check?”
“This is completely inappropriate!” Linda’s voice pitched higher as she continued to read.
A furious older woman with a man | Source: Midjourney
“Question three: Do you also inspect their teeth like show horses, or is that saved for the second date?”
“Question four: When Jacob moves out of your basement, will you be requiring his future wife to submit weekly progress reports?”
“Question five: Have you considered therapy for your control issues, or is that too personal a question?”
“That’s enough!” Jacob slammed his hand on the table, making the silverware jump. “You have no right to disrespect my family like this!”
An angry man | Source: Midjourney
I leaned back, crossing my arms. “Oh, but they have every right to treat me like I’m applying for a position at the FBI?”
“My parents are just looking out for me,” he protested, his voice weak. “They want what’s best— “
“No, Jacob. What’s best for you would be growing a backbone and living your own life.”
Linda and Patrick were already gathering their things, faces flushed with indignation. Linda’s hands shook as she stuffed her questionnaire back into her bag.
“We’re leaving,” she announced. “Jacob, come on. She’s not the one for you.”
“Wait!” I called out, loud enough for nearby tables to turn. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Side shot of a woman | Source: Midjourney
They paused. “WHAT??”
“Waiter, these people are trying to leave without paying their bill!” I announced loudly, waving to the waiter. “Guess running out on checks is another proud family tradition!”
The restaurant had gone quiet. Linda’s hands shook as she pulled out her credit card, practically throwing it at the waiter. I stood up, smoothing my dress once again.
“Well, this has been entertaining. I’ll cover my water.” I placed a five-dollar bill on the table and turned to Jacob.
“Good luck finding someone who meets your family’s rigorous standards. Although, you might want to try job recruitment sites instead of dating apps. I hear they provide detailed background checks and references.”
A woman laughing | Source: Midjourney
As I walked out into the cool evening air, my phone buzzed with a message from Jacob, “You didn’t have to be so cruel. My parents were just looking out for me.”
I typed back, “Just looking out for myself, mama’s boy. Goodbye!”
Later that night, Sarah called to hear about the date. After I finished telling her everything, she was quiet for a moment.
“You know what?” she finally said. “I bet Linda has a spreadsheet ranking all of Jacob’s potential wives.”
We both burst out laughing, and I felt the last of my disappointment melt away. Dodged a bullet? Absolutely. And I’ve never been so grateful for a red flag wrapped in a questionnaire.
A woman walking away | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
A History of Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman’s Playful Feud — As the Wolverine Actor Turns 56 Today!
The’ Deadpool & Wolverine’ costars and musketeers have kept up their funny faux feud over the times
Hugh Jackman turns 56 moment, and what better way to celebrate than to take a walk down memory lane and examine the history of his” feud” with pal Ryan Reynolds?
Way before they teamed up to make Deadpool & Wolverine, Jackman revealed the onsets of their frequently-hysterical dynamic in a 2020 interview with The Daily Beast.
” It’s gone back so long now God, this is a classic sign where your feud has gone too long, where you do not indeed know why or how it started,” he said.
More lately, when they saw one another on the set of Deadpool & Wolverine, “ You came over and you went,’ Steve!'” Jackman recalled in a PEOPLE cover story, in which he and Reynolds, 47, interview one another about their 17- time fellowship. Added Reynolds playfully, “ Greg? No, don’t tell me.”
As we celebrate the actor who perfected the part of Wolverine to a tee, then’s a timeline of the ongoing feud and badinage between Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds.
1. Scarlett Johansson might have had an unwitting hand in starting it.
Jackman told The Daily Beast it was Scarlett Johansson who might have started the feud, though he admitted to having trouble flashing back the origins at first.
The actor explained how he started teasing Reynolds over his recent( at the time) marriage to Johansson, 39. The two were married from 2008 to 2011 before Reynolds wed now- woman
Blake Lively in 2012.
“ I used to ream him because I was veritably close musketeers with Scarlett, and Scarlett had just married Ryan, so when he came on set I was like, ‘ Hey, you more be on your stylish behavior then, confidante, because I’m watching,’ and we started roasting each other that way, and also it all escalated with the Deadpool thing and him calling me out, and trying to manipulate me through social media to do what he wanted, ” Jackman explained.
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He putatively made their feud public in 2015 when he posted a videotape on his Instagram of Reynolds impersonating him — Australian accentuation and all — in his Deadpool makeup.
2. The feud originally substantially concentrated on Reynolds’ desire to make a Deadpool/ Wolverine film.
Since that time, Jackman and Reynolds, who met on the set of 2009’sX-Men Origins Wolverine, have continued their public trolling and set up ways to poke fun at one other on social media.
In January 2017, Reynolds made it clear he wanted to make a mashup movie featuring his Deadpool character with Jackman’s Wolverine.
Unfortunately for the Free Guy actor, Jackman hung up his Wolverine claws just months latterly in March with the release of Logan, his putatively final incursion as the ridiculous- book mutant. But that didn’t stop Reynolds, whose Deadpool & Wolverine dreams are now coming true.
“ I’ve no idea if I can change his mind, ” Reynolds told Variety of Jackman at the time. “ It’s the followership I would simply exploit that relationship to get Hugh back for another bone. ”
He echoed his statements to Entertainment Weekly latterly, saying, “ What we’re gonna have to do is move Hugh. However, I’m going to need to do what I can to get my internet musketeers back on board to help rally another cause down the line, If anything. ”
As Jackman told Variety, “ I’m scrupling. I could completely see how that’s the perfect fit. But the timing may be wrong. ”
3. Their capers have gauged times and included Christmases, birthdays and live performances.
Jackman and Reynolds have combed each other during the leaves and on each other’s birthdays.
Playing up on their hypercritically negative relationship in April 2018, Jackman tried to record a birthday communication for a addict on Twitter, only to be intruded by Reynolds’ Deadpool. As the actor started to record his well- wishes, Reynolds began singing in the background.
“ When you’re trying to record a sincere birthday communication. but are intruded by the least topmost showman, ” Jackman wrote on Twitter.
detracted by the song, he condemned the camera over to show Reynolds lying on a hostel bed in his full Deadpool costume, begirding “ hereafter” from Annie.
“ Don’t give him too important attention, ” Jackman said in the clip.
For Reynolds’ 42nd birthday, the brace had another ridiculous exchange on social media. Given the nature of their relationship, Jackman naturally celebrated his friend’s big day by trolling him.
“ Because I’m told that I AM THE NICEST joe and you’re NOT.@VancityReynolds I’ll let you clinch me. Just this formerly. On your birthday, ” he wrote alongside a picture of the brace embracing each other.
Reynolds snappily responded with a false claim. “ This man is a monster, ” he wrote. “ He’s not indeed from Australia. He’s from Milwaukee. ”
4. The brace putatively called a armistice.
In February 2019, Reynolds and Jackman announced on their respective social- media accounts that their friendly feud had officially come to an end.
As a way to mend their “ broken relationship, ” the two actors revealed their plans to make ads for each other’s companies — Reynolds’ Aviation Gin, Jackman’s Laughing Man Coffee — and, of course, each expected to out- do the other.
“ Official truce with@realhughjackman! ” Reynolds wrote alongside a black- and- white snapshot of the pair smiling as they shook hands. “ As a gesture of goodwill, I’m gonna make a beautiful ad for his company, Laughing Man Coffee. Can’t wait! ”
Jackman shared the same photo, captioning it, “ Official truce! I’m going to make the most amazing ad for Aviation Gin. And, look forward to seeing what@vancityreynolds comes up with in return. ”
Reynolds laterre-posted the same photo on his Instagram Stories from another user but it was edited to include a grenade in their hands, a pin from the explosive weapon in Reynolds’ mouth, and Jackman’s Wolverine claw behind his back in the mirror.
The spoof shot was captioned by Reynolds, “ Look closely. ”
5. They reignited their feud just months later.
It appears the two just could n’t stay away. That August, Reynolds and Jackman reignited the feud when the latter injured his hand during his one- man tour The Man. The Music. The Show.
“ The first time I’ve played#wolverine and, actually bled. Clearly, it’s@vancityreynolds fault, ” Jackman wrote over an image of a scratch on his knuckle. The bit reportedly included jokes about Reynolds and Jackman playing Wolverine.
Reynolds commented, “ I just do n’t think you’ve been practicing enough. ”
In 2020, Jackman wished his now- ex, Deborra- lee Jackman, a happy 24th anniversary in a heartfelt social- media communication.
“ These 24 times have been the stylish of my life! And, as far as I can see, we keep getting better, ” the actor identified a fogy image of himself and Deborra- lee, 68. “ I love you Debs with every fiber of my soul. Happy anniversary.# 24 ″
Reynolds used the anniversary post as an occasion to continue his ridiculous feud with Jackman. “ Hang in there, Deb, ” he teased in the commentary section on Instagram.
6. The jokes have expanded to include footwear.
Back in October 2021, Reynolds marked Jackman’s 53rd birthday by trolling theX-Men actor with a TikTok videotape of his socks which were published with Jackman’s face on them.
” Look I do not tell you how to celebrate Hugh Jackman’s birthday. So do not tell me,” he wrote, adding in the caption,” Socks to be Hugh.”
Jackman reposted Reynolds’ TikTok on his Instagram runner and addressed it in a videotape of his own, in which he thanked musketeers and suckers for their birthday wishes.
” I know there is been a lot of dispatches about Ryan’s post — him wearing socks with my face on them and wondering where you can get them,” the actor added, joking,” You can not get them anywhere because he made them himself, he stitched them himself.”
Jackman continued,” I know, it’s just really sad. But anyway, I guess you could ask him, he might darn you a brace or give you the bones he is been wearing.”
7. The actors have given true props to one another but the jokes are no way far out.
Jackman said that” a lot of people come up to” him talking about Reynolds.
” And I say,’ Shut up, I am not interested,'” he added, to which Reynolds responded with a laugh,” That tracks.”
But in soberness, Jackman told Reynolds that he believes him speaking about his experience with anxiety,” takes courage,” and has” helped a lot of people.”
And for Reynolds, the key to their fellowship, in part, is that they” calculate on each other for the real kind of advice that you want.”
8. Their friendly feud might have to do with Sexiest Man Alive.
During a common appearance on The View to promote Deadpool & Wolverine, the former Sexiest Man Alive titleholders recreated their covers after panelist Sara Haines suggested their beef might involve” contending covers.”
” Do not bring it up. We have done a lot of remedy,” Jackman fitted . still, he added that when the brace catch up, they” assume the disguise.”
” What am I doing there?” Reynolds asked of his cover before trying to casually lean back.” That is not comfortable.”
When John Legend was blazoned as PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2019, Jackman complimented the songster with a silly Instagram videotape exhibiting his own cover to a dismissive Reynolds.
” 99 of the time, People Magazine gets it right,” Jackman wrote in the caption before playfully dissing Reynolds.” But a word of caution. There’s the 1. exhibition A.”
9. They indeed beef in promotional material outside of Deadpool & Wolverine.
When Jackman took to social media to advertise a series of 12 musicales, named” From New York, with Love,” Reynolds naturally had to join him after their lengthy press stint.
Sitting on the same settee Reynolds used to reveal Jackman’s return as Wolverine, The Greatest Showman star unveiled his Radio City Music Hall shows before asking Reynolds if he wanted to come.
The Deadpool actor asked if he’d be a part of Jackman’s show, to which the star jokingly replied,” Absolutely!” to the camera, as he quietly signaled else.
” This is my time,” he rumored.
Following a loud montage of Jackman explaining his show and Reynolds putatively offering suggestions, Reynolds concluded,” I am not going to be in it?”
” On stage, no. But in my heart, yeah,” Jackman answered, stipulating that he needs his friend in the followership —( maybe indeed further down) and not in the factual show.
” It’s going to be the most amazing tech trial you have ever, ever been to,” Jackman joked.
” I have won the fellowship lottery,” Reynolds said with an undecided laugh.
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