While celebrating a new life and transitioning into a new role, a mother found herself struggling to get a moment alone after she welcomed her daughter. A time that was meant to be exciting for her and her husband led to them having a big fight over their parenting roles.
In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, a mother found herself longing for a mere moment of quietness and alone time. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations. She started off by explaining that she had only had her child for two weeks. Her daughter was strictly breastfeeding, but in addition to cluster feeding, she realized her daughter found comfort in being close to her.
A mother holding her new born | Source: Shutterstock
This meant that her new role allowed her little to no time alone. “I’ve showered once by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she was crying and my husband was bringing her into the bathroom with me. I think I literally had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.
On the contrary, she noticed her husband’s life had not changed. He still got to have long and uninterrupted showers every day but never understood why his showers frustrated his wife.
Each time she was in the shower, and the baby would cry, her husband would bring their newborn to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he did not even try to calm the baby down on his own, but his excuse was that the child loved showers, and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
As sweet as his fears sounded, the Redditor still needed to find a way to get a full self-care routine without a baby being handed over to her. So, she decided to call in help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter as she showered. Her husband was not there when she reached out to her child’s grandmother, but when he arrived, he asked what his mother-in-law was doing at their house.
Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife’s decision to call her mother just to take a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked, to which the Redditor responded, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes of me being in here because you don’t even try to calm her down.”
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
Therefore, after five days of trying to shave her legs, she could not wait to enjoy the warm water hitting her body and relaxing her muscles. “I need to self-care,” the Redditor emphasized.
The original poster’s honest account of her experience as a new mother erupted in a chorus of voices from commenters sharing their own experiences and offering support. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic and suggested, “If, according to hubby, showers calm her down, why isn’t he taking her on his 30-60 minute showers?”
A mother looking stressed with her child | Source: Shutterstock
Another suggestion was for the OP to lock the door as a temporary solution and to teach her husband a lesson on respecting someone’s privacy. Another Reddit user said the husband made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law, but it was time he realized that he could also parent his daughter without always running to his wife.
The discussion took a deeper dive into the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship. Commenters pointed out the absurdity that the husband had been more concerned about his wife calling her mother rather than making sure that his wife’s well-being was attended to. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you; he’s just worried about how it looks to your mum,” remarked a commenter.
A man sitting next to a crib looking stressed | Source: Shutterstock
One mother said her husband once interrupted her hair appointment but she had a serious conversation with him and made him look back at the number of haircuts he had had since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency, so the commenter advised the OP to have the same stern conversation with her husband.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
Another commenter shared a personal story of how her husband had slacked at the beginning of their parenting journey and how she eventually found a way to work as a team. The mother said her baby was a bit fussy on the first night home and she would always take the lead and calm her down.
But after three days, she put on earplugs and requested her husband only wake her up when the baby needed a feed and let her partner take care of the baby during the night, which led to a more equitable parenting dynamic.
The commenter added that allocating responsibilities helped them both understand the difficulty and joy of caring for a newborn, but it also allowed them to foster empathy and understanding. “That night, my partner became an equal parent,” the commenter added.
Here is a story about a newborn who cried nonstop no matter what the parents did. But they eventually realized the answer to their child’s misery was in the crib.
A Man Born With No Jaw Finds Love, but Their Relationship Sparks Heated Controversy: “She Can’t Kiss Him!”
In a profoundly inspiring story of love and determination, Joseph Williams defied seemingly insurmountable odds to find not just love, but an enduring and unbreakable connection with Vania. Their journey, marked by initial uncertainties and obstacles, ultimately led to a heartwarming union in 2020.
Williams encountered many challenges and faced repeated rejections.
Born with otofacial syndrome, Williams endured a lifetime of bullying and isolation until he found the love of his life. Despite ongoing criticism, the couple is now happily married and has emerged from these challenges even stronger. Unable to speak or chew due to his disability, Williams communicates through sign language and relies on a feeding tube.
The love he experiences with his wife has reignited his self-esteem following years of feeling worthless. This has motivated him to advocate for embracing life despite differences. He expressed fervently, “I understand that I am different and that some people will think I am ugly and not accept me, but I am still a person who has a heart, feelings, and a brain. I should be treated with respect, just as anyone else should be.”
During difficult times, love persists.
Joseph prefers to receive questions rather than stares regarding his condition. He emphasizes the importance of independence, as he experienced excessive protectiveness during his youth. His adoption stemmed from his birth mother’s surprise at his condition, yet he remains steadfast in not letting it define or limit him.
Despite enduring difficult treatments such as bone and skin grafts along with jaw reconstruction, Joseph faced self-esteem challenges in his youth, fearing a life of isolation. However, in 2019, he met Vania, who would become his wife. Their relationship started as friends and evolved into a deep and meaningful love story.
Curiosity blossomed into a deep love that bound them together.
When Vania first encountered Williams at her workplace, she was intrigued but uncertain about how to approach his condition. Eventually, she learned about it through someone else. Williams had faced various reactions to his condition, from curious stares to people avoiding him out of discomfort.
Despite these challenges, Joseph and Vania forged a deep bond. Their friendship gradually evolved into a romantic relationship, though Vania initially struggled with feelings of embarrassment. Over time, she fully embraced him for who he was. They communicate using a text-to-speech app and sign language. When Vania’s mother, Janice, first met Williams, she was initially surprised but curious about his condition.
Despite initial uncertainties, their love triumphed.
Vania’s mother expressed her admiration, saying, “He’s a remarkable man. He does things that, you know, normal men don’t do. He’s a hard worker, for one, he’s attentive to Vania. He cares about her, he loves her, and she loves him.”
Despite initial doubts, Williams and Vania got married in 2020, supported by her parents and his loved ones.
Their relationship has sparked various opinions from people, with many making assumptions about them. Some have commented, “She can’t kiss him,” or “She must be cheating on him.” However, their unwavering determination and deep love for each other have never stopped them from pursuing their dreams, proving that love conquers all and prevails above all else.
Their story is a testament to the immense power of love to overcome obstacles and defy societal expectations. Through highs and lows, doubts and triumphs, they have forged a remarkable bond that will endure a lifetime.
Countless other stories similarly demonstrate that love is an unstoppable force capable of conquering any adversity.
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