My Husband Left Me and the Kids Hungry Because His Dad Believes ‘It’s a Woman’s Job to Cook’ – They Both Learned Their Lesson
An ordinary evening turned into a battle over outdated gender roles. It went so far that my children and I had to go without dinner. My husband and father-in-law’s beliefs clashed with our modern family dynamics, but they were in for a lesson they would not forget.
A woman sitting by the table during dinner | Source: Pexels
My husband Marcus comes from this super traditional family and is the oldest of two kids. His mom’s a stay-at-home mom, and his dad was the sole provider.
But our family is the COMPLETE opposite. Instead, we both work and share our duties at home. My father-in-law just HATES it. He despises that I work and that my husband helps out at home.
An irritated son covering his face while his father is talking to him | Source: Pexels
Before my in-laws came to stay with us, my relationship with them was a mixed bag. My mother-in-law, though shy and reserved, was kind to me.
She never openly criticized our way of life, but her silence spoke volumes. She seemed scared to voice any opinion, always deferring to her husband’s rigid beliefs.
A woman smiling while looking at her man | Source: Pexels
My father-in-law, on the other hand, was a different story. He never missed an opportunity to express his disdain for our modern lifestyle. During family gatherings, he would make snide remarks about how a woman’s place was at home, not in the workforce.
People gathering at dinner in night garden and chatting | Source: Pexels
He believed that a man should be the provider and the head of the household, and he didn’t shy away from making his views known. Despite his harsh opinions, I tried to maintain a civil relationship with him for the sake of my husband.
We had several heated discussions over the years, but I always managed to keep my composure and stand my ground. I believed that respecting each other’s differences was the only way to keep the peace.
A man and two women talking at a table | Source: Pexels
So, when my in-laws decided to stay with us for two weeks, I knew it would be challenging. Our usual routine worked well for us. I made breakfast, we all ate lunch out, and my husband cooked dinner.
It was a system that balanced our responsibilities and kept our household running smoothly. Yesterday, I got home from work, exhausted and STARVING. I quickly greeted everyone and went for a pre-dinner shower.
A woman taking a shower | Source: Pexels
When I came back down, I expected dinner to be ready. But there was NOTHING. The kids kept asking when we were having dinner, and I asked my husband, but he wouldn’t even look at me.
Then his FATHER chimed in, “Sarah, your husband didn’t cook anything. You need to stop being LAZY and do your duty as a wife and cook for your family, AS A NORMAL WOMAN.”
A man sitting at the table while looking at a woman | Source: Pexels
I was SPEECHLESS, and my husband just sat there, NODDING, avoiding eye contact. I SAW RED. They both needed to learn a lesson.
“Really?” I started, my voice trembling with anger. “So, I should just come home after a full day of work and start cooking because that’s my duty?”
My father-in-law scoffed. “That’s right, Sarah. A woman’s place is in the kitchen.”
My mother-in-law sat quietly, too scared to say a word to her husband.
I turned to my husband. “And you agree with this?”
He mumbled, “Well, it wouldn’t hurt if you took better care of the home and kids. Tradition is tradition.”
A couple arguing at home | Source: Pexels
“Tradition?” I shot back. “Tradition won’t allow a man earning thirty-five thousand to support a family of five. You are too broke to be so sexist.” I saw tears well up in his eyes, but I wasn’t done.
Turning to his father, I said, “And you! When was the last time you took your wife to a restaurant? Do you even know what it costs to run this household?”
“Let me enlighten you. That car you drive, the one you’re so proud of? I paid for it because my income is bigger than your son’s. He asked me to cover it.”
My father-in-law’s face turned crimson. “That’s not true,” he stammered.
A man wearing glasses | Source: Pexels
“It is true,” I replied. “And now, since my hard-earned money went to that car, it’s only fair that I use this month’s payment to take your wife and my kids out for dinner. Let’s see you and your son figure out the car payment, like real men.”
Without waiting for a response, I took my mother-in-law and kids to a nice restaurant. They deserved a break. We enjoyed a wonderful meal, and my mother-in-law finally relaxed, thanking me repeatedly.
Two women hugging each other | Source: Pexels
Back at home, I knew the men would have to face the reality of their outdated beliefs. They needed to understand that respect and partnership are what make a family strong.
The next morning, there was a noticeable tension in the air. My husband and his father were unusually quiet during breakfast. My husband finally broke the silence.
A man and a woman in a kitchen | Source: Pexels
“I’m sorry for what happened,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I realize now how much I hurt you. I let my father’s outdated views influence me.”
His father, sitting beside him, looked uncomfortable but spoke up as well. “I didn’t realize how much times have changed. I’m sorry too. I’ve always seen things a certain way, but I understand now that it’s not right.”
A middle-aged man talking while wearing glasses | Source: Pexels
My mother-in-law, sitting quietly, nodded in agreement. I appreciated their apologies, but actions speak louder than words. I needed to see a change.
Over the next few days, both men made a visible effort to be more involved and respectful. My husband took back his duties without complaint, and his father helped where he could, even though it was clear he was uncomfortable at first.
A man wearing gloves while standing in front of a sink | Source: Pexels
One evening, as we were all preparing dinner together, my father-in-law approached me. “I want to thank you,” he said. “You opened my eyes. I see now that respect and partnership are crucial. I will try to do better.”
His sincerity touched me. “Thank you for understanding,” I replied. “It’s not about being right or wrong, but about supporting each other.”
Smiling woman sitting on couch with legs crossed | Source: Pexels
From that point on, the atmosphere in our home improved significantly. My husband and his father worked together to ensure that everyone felt valued and respected. My mother-in-law, with a newfound confidence, started to speak up more, expressing her thoughts and needs.
In the end, it wasn’t just about teaching a lesson. It was about growing together as a family and breaking free from outdated traditions that no longer served us. Our journey had its challenges, but it brought us closer and made us stronger.
A young family talking to their parents | Source: Pexels
In Sarah’s story, she was courageous enough to stand up to her father-in-law. But in the following one, Carmen feels guilty about doing the same thing. She questions whether teaching her in-law lesson was the right move.
Our Granddaughter Called Us Stingy Because of Her Wedding Gift from Us
This time, we sent an air fryer to our youngest granddaughter, the cheapest thing on her registry. Eloise called us, livid, accusing us of being cheap. I remember picking up her call and she didn’t even say hi, she just started ranting, “Seriously, Grandma? I just got your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find on my registry!”
I was taken aback because as much as the air fryer was the cheapest on their registry, I still thought it’d be useful to them, so I told her that. Eloise kept on complaining, “Useful? Come on, you know you can do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. I just can’t believe you’d be this cheap with me. It’s embarrassing.”
In this heated moment, I told her, “Yes, you’re right. We are cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you DIDN’T know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
I revealed this in an attempt to explain to Eloise about the cash gift we usually give our grandkids before the wedding but she was so angry at this point, that she wasn’t listening to a thing I said. I speculated that maybe she didn’t believe we would gift her such an amount of money after only buying her an air fryer.
Eventually, she said, “No, it’s clear. You just don’t love me enough to show it. You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care,” then she hung up.
Despite my husband and I’s shock at Eloise’s reaction, we then bought her a China set, hoping to appease her, but decided against giving her the $40,000, feeling she hadn’t earned it.
Fast forward to last week. Eloise talked to her brother and found out that we were telling her the truth about the money. After confirming it with her cousins, she, called again, accusing us of discrimination, “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?”
We stood firm, explaining our stance was due to her initial reaction, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded trying to convince us otherwise, “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
I was angry that she didn’t even understand what she did wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I explained.
Eloise implored us, nearly in tears, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt like she should have only apologized to us instead of finding excuses to justify her behavior.
However, I told her, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.” Full of desperation, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
She pleaded, threatened to boycott Christmas, and accused us of cutting her off but we didn’t budge. In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Now, Eloise has followed up on her threat and she’s boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is siding with her, calling us unreasonable. However, we feel that after all we have done for Eloise, the air fryer gift, shouldn’t have triggered this reaction.
For context, we had already paid for her college, and her parents covered her graduate school and half the wedding. Additionally, she and her husband are financially comfortable and do not desperately need our money.
We’re also not upset with our grandkids for revealing the cash gift since she is among the group of family members who are allowed to know about it. Our reason for sending the air fryer earlier was that we live far away, so we always send our gifts early.
The wedding gift is also separate from the money, which we give with the hope it will be used for something significant, like a home. Now, we feel like the action we took towards Eloise was well deserved and we are not going back on our decisions even if she and her mom threaten to do their worst.
Despite the tumultuous events and Eloise’s refusal to understand our perspective, my husband and I stand by our decision. Love and respect in our family are paramount, and we hoped this situation would be a learning experience for her.
The holidays might be quieter this year with her family’s absence, but our hope is for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts remain open to Eloise, whenever she’s ready to mend fences.
Want more like this? Click here to read about a grandmother who sparked controversy online because she doesn’t bring her grandchildren gifts when she visits.
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