Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
A woman, 29, was given an ultimatum: either hide her pink hair or seek employment elsewhere. Embracing the challenge, she began wearing “terrible wigs” to work and her looks quickly went viral online.
Salma Hayek Pinault is a Mexican-American actress, producer, and director. She rose to fame in the late 1990s with her roles in films like Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn. Hayek has since gone on to star in numerous movies, including Frida, for which she was nominated for an Academy Award. However, for a long time, she was blocked from acting in comedy movies, and recently, she explained why.
The actress wasn’t allowed to explore her comedic side because she was “too hot.”
Salma Hayek recently shared with the media that she had been kept from starring in comedies for nearly 2 decades by Hollywood because she was considered ’too hot’ for the genre. Despite appearing in romantic comedies like Fools Rush In and Breaking Up, she struggled to land roles in this genre: “I was typecast for a long time,” she says. “My entire life, I wanted to do comedy and people wouldn’t give me comedies. Not only are you not allowed to be smart, but you were not allowed to be funny in the ’90s.”
Thanks to Adam Sandler, she got her chance.
Salma mentioned that she was unable to get roles in traditional comedies until 2010’s Grown Ups, and that Adam Sandler gave her the opportunity to be funny in the film. However, she also noted that she was already in her forties by that time.
Salma Hayek played the role of Roxanne Chase-Feder in the movie. Roxanne is the wife of Lenny Feder, played by Adam Sandler. She is a caring mother and a supportive wife who helps Lenny navigate the challenges of parenting and adult life. Hayek’s performance in the film was praised for its warmth and humor.
Despite past regrets, Hayek is now happy to be where she is.
After being undermined and limited to certain types of roles for so long, Salma Hayek Pinault was able to let go and see the shallowness of that world. Although she was sad about it at the time, she is now doing every genre and is not focusing on the past. She says that she is now in a place where her appearance is not the only thing appreciated and that she has earned respect from people that really matter, so she feels seen beyond that.
If you are a fan of Salma Hayek just like we are, get a glimpse into her personal life and read about her motherhood, marriage, success story, and her secret to aging gracefully.
Preview photo credit ANGELA WEISS/AFP/East News, From Dusk Till Dawn / Dimension Films and co-producers
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