Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
13 Celebrities Who Changed Their Real Names Before Becoming Famous
Sometimes we are given names that are either too hard to pronounce or too long to keep in their entirety. And if you are someone with a normal 9-5 job, that is completely fine. But, if you are someone in the entertainment industry who wants your name to be known by everyone, this may not be the best thing. That’s why many people choose to either shorten their full names or completely change them.
1. Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus legally changed her name back in 2008 from Destiny Hope Cyrus to Miley Cyrus. The name Miley is a rendition of her childhood nickname “Smiley” in honor of her paternal grandfather.
2. Victoria Beckham
Prior to becoming known as the fashion diva, Victoria Beckham, back in the early days of the iconic group we love, Victoria Adams was the name used for her records. However, when the Spice Girls became rising stars, she changed her name to Posh Spice. Years later, she become the famous Victoria Beckham we know today.
3. Vin Diesel
At the age of 17, Mark Sinclair was a rather big guy. He even used to work as a bouncer at a nightclub called The Tunnel. Around that time he took the name Vin Diesel and started to shave his head regularly.
4. Rachel Weisz
Early in her career, she changed her name to Rachel Vyce, but when people told her that it was too difficult to pronounce, she changed it to Kenya Campbell. She decided to keep it that way for a while, but she soon realized that it sounded unpleasant. The actress then decided to stay with Rachel Weisz and made a lot of iconic movies.
5. Natalie Portman
It was in 1994 when a very young Neta-Lee Hershlag auditioned for Leon and landed her first role in a major production. While filming, the actress changed her name to “Natalie” and took her mother’s maiden last name. Apparently, she wanted to maintain her privacy because some scenes in the movie were polemical.
6. Alicia Keys
Her real name is Alicia Augello-Cook, but she changed it and decided to have her own different stage name with a special meaning behind it. She explained, “It’s like the piano keys, and it can also open a lot of doors,” and she ended up with the name Alicia Keys and broke multiple records in her career.
7. Jamie Foxx
Eric Marlon Bishop, now known as Jamie Foxx, tried out a couple of different names when he first started doing open mic nights. When he’d sign up to the open mic lists, he used the names Tracy Brown and Stacy Green but eventually landed on Jamie Foxx.
8. Iggy Azalea
Her birth name is Amethyst Amelia Kelly, and she ended up with Iggy Azalea because she has a dog named “Iggy,” and it became her nickname. She came up with the surname Azalea, as she explained, “Because that is a street name that my mom and family live on, and it sounds very feminine, and I thought it would balance out Iggy being so masculine.”
9. Lana Del Rey
The singer’s real name is Elizabeth Woolridge Grant, but she’s now known as Lana Del Rey. When she began singing, she went by the name, “Lizzy Grant,” and also performed as “Sparkle Rope Jump Queen” until she landed on Lana Del Rey.
10. Tom Hardy
Before becoming Tom Hardy, his birth name was Edward Thomas Hardy, and he only used his first name before deciding to go by his middle name instead. Even though the Internet was aware of his true identity, it was not widely publicized.
11. Blake Lively
After Blake became an actress she decided to take the surname of her mother, Elaine Lively as her stage name.
12. Aaron Paul
His full name is Aaron Paul Sturtevant, but when he went to auditions, no one could pronounce his surname, “Sturtevant,” so he had to change it so that everyone could say it, and then he shortened it when he entered Hollywood.
13. Lorde
Lorde changed her original name at the age of 12 when she was signed to a development contract with the Universal Music Group after an agent of theirs saw footage of her singing at a middle school talent show. Her real name is Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor. The royalty hidden in the name Lord encouraged her in changing her original name, but she also added an “e” because she felt that Lord would be too masculine for a girl.
Preview photo credit Laurent VU/SIPA/Sipa Press Russia/East News, mileycyrus / Instagram
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