Every day, moms have a lot on their plates.
Managing multiple responsibilities throughout the day, like cleaning their children’s sticky hands and faces, folding laundry, ensuring they eat breakfast and lunch, and getting them ready for school, leaves parents with a lot on their plates and little time for relaxation.
No matter how hard they try, there will always be some sort of mishap—such as a toy you trip over, a glass of milk that gets knocked over, or a stain somewhere—waiting around the corner.
The luxury of taking a quick shower before going to bed or spending some alone time is something that many mothers cannot afford.
A mother who has seen it all, Heather Duckworth, recently wrote a piece in which she touched on some of the things we take for granted as parents.
A crucial component of that process is the mess that children make as they transform before our own eyes into the people we’ve always thought they’ll become.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that our kids will use the messes we cleaned up when they were adults as the greatest evidence to the upbringing we provided for them, so it’s worthwhile to make an effort to find happiness even in the middle of turmoil.
Unfortunately, not every woman gets to witness the chaos and disarray that kids bring about.
Not all parents are able to experience the happiness that children bring into their life, either.
Many new and expecting mothers connected with Heather’s widely shared post , “The Blue Stain.”
As Heather washed the grout her daughter had created with the slime, her heart began to race as she recalled the catastrophe she had to clean up all those years prior.
This mother would think, “My hands were full, but so was my heart,” after a demanding day of chasing after her two-year-old triplets and her four-year-old elder brother, picking up toys, and making sure no one got hurt in the mountains of laundry she was unable to finish that day.
Heather and her two sons danced to the radio as they cleaned up the playroom before calling it a night.
It was the last time they would laugh so hard for a while, no one could have anticipated.
She was about to go to sleep herself when she heard one of the boys say, “Uh, Oh,” and she noticed the enormous blue stain that would follow her about for the rest of her life.
One of the triplets’ pens exploded in his hand, splattering ink all over the place. Blue pajamas, hands, and face gave the appearance that the little child was a smurf.
Heather became enraged and felt like a lousy mother as she watched.
Although she hadn’t been upset with her son, she did blame herself since she’d placed the pen in a place where kids could readily get to it. She gave in to her emotions.
“When I noticed blue splatters all over the floor and a large pool of ink seeping into our brand-new carpet, I panicked. My husband had been doing the dishes, so I hurriedly shouted for him to come help me. My spouse began cleaning those vivid blue stains off of our carpet as soon as I got my son and took him to the toilet to clean him up. I was immediately upset.
Heather would often get angry and frustrated when she spotted the stain on the brand-new carpet. Up until the day it was eventually removed, the stain represented all the amazing experiences she shared with her sons.
A month after the little child spilled blue paint on the carpet, he was given a cancer diagnosis. Two years later, he passed away, leaving the stain as a reminder of their time together.
It remained in place, but now it served as a continual reminder of my kid. It served as a continual reminder of my annoyance at something so little and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
The blue stain served as a continual reminder that although life is messy, it is still worthwhile. a persistent prompt to stop worrying about the little things. a continual reminder that people matter more than “things.” a continuous reminder that mishaps do occur. a continual reminder to hold fast to what is important and let go of the trivial things.
She attempted to hide the bright blue stain with the furniture, but each time she tidied the space, it was there, glaring back at her, a constant reminder of her loss and the grief she was still experiencing.
The purpose of Heather’s narrative is to serve as a reminder of how frequently we forget to see the small things in life that bring us purpose and take life for granted. She feels compelled to tell all the mothers out there that the toys scattered around and the filthy clothes are what actually provide their homes a feeling of security and comfort for their family.
As Heather puts it, those messes caused by the people we care about the most are what give our lives meaning because the day will come when we will truly miss those times.”If it meant I could spend one more day with my son, I would gladly have a million blue ink stains on my carpet.”
She gives mothers this advice: try not to become so engrossed in the world that you lose out on spending valuable time with your children. Prioritize what really important in life since it’s too short to waste time cleaning stains!
My Downstairs Neighbor Asked Me to Be Quieter at Night, but I Have Not Been Home for the past Week
When Piper returns from a trip with her friends, she cannot wait to get home to her husband. But as she unpacks her car, a neighbor approaches her, complaining about the noise from her apartment. If Piper wasn’t home, who was Matthew entertaining in her absence?
I had just returned from a blissful week-long camping trip with my friends. It was all about us taking time away from our lives and enjoying being away from the city.
My husband, Matthew, had stayed behind, claiming that he needed to stay at home.
“I have to be home, Piper,” he said when I was packing my bags. “It’s just work responsibilities. There are meetings and presentations coming up.”
“Are you sure?” I asked him. “Why don’t you come along, and then we can find you a place to work in between it all?”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said. “You go and join the others and have fun. You need some time away from this place.”
He continued to persuade me to go on the trip, and eventually, I gave in.
“If you’re sure, then it’s settled. I’ll go,” I said. “But I’ll meal prep your food for you before I go.”
Two weeks later, I was back home, feeling rejuvenated and happy to be back with my husband.
“I missed you,” I said when I walked into the house.
Matthew was cooking for us, music was playing in the background, and I felt grateful that I could come home to him.
“I’m just going to unpack the car,” I said. “But dinner smells great!”
I went outside and began to unpack my things when our downstairs neighbor, Mrs. Peterson, approached me by the car. Her stern expression made me pause everything.
“Is everything okay?” I asked her, ready to jump at whatever she needed.
“No, Piper,” she said, crossing her arms. “I know that you and your husband are a young couple and stay up until the late hours. But could you try and keep it quiet at night? At least from about nine-thirty. For the past week, I could barely sleep.”
I blinked, taken aback.
“What? Mrs. Peterson, I haven’t been home all week. Are you sure that it was coming from our place?”
The old woman frowned, and I could tell that she was trying to see if I was joking or not.
“Well, someone was making a lot of noise, Piper,” she said. “It sounded like a party every single night.”
I wasn’t sure what I was listening to. I knew that Matthew was a good guy, but we were on the top floor, and there wasn’t anyone living above us.
Was there a possibility that I didn’t know my husband as well as I thought?
I apologized profusely, my mind racing. As soon as she walked away, I rushed upstairs to confront Matthew. I needed to know what Mrs. Peterson was talking about.
If he had been entertaining people, then that was one thing, and it was okay.
But what if he was having an affair?
“Stop it,” I muttered to myself as I stood in the elevator.
I found my husband lounging on the couch, watching TV.
“Matt, we need to talk,” I said, my voice giving me away.
He looked at me, picked up the remote, and switched the TV off.
“What’s wrong, Piper?”
“Mrs. Peterson just complained about noise coming from our apartment every night last week. I wasn’t here, Matthew. What the hell is going on, and who were you making so much noise with?”
My husband’s face paled, and he buried his face in his hands. My heart sank.
There was something about the resignation of his body that made me think that he was guilty. But guilty of what?
Was he simply guilty of having friends over? Or an affair?
“Please, just tell me the truth,” I pleaded, sitting down on the couch across from him.
“I’m not having an affair,” he muttered, barely audible. “And I know that’s what you’re thinking. But I was just ashamed to tell you the truth.”
“What truth? What do you mean? What’s going on?” I asked, the questions hurling themselves at Matthew.
My husband took a deep breath and looked up, his eyes filled with something that I couldn’t understand.
“I lost my job a few months ago, Piper. I didn’t know how to tell you. But I’ve been desperate to make money so that you wouldn’t notice the shortfall. While you were gone, I rented out our apartment to make some money. I stayed at Trent’s place while the apartment was rented out.”
I sighed, the relief and confusion dissipating from my body.
“So, the noise was from the people who rented out the place?” I asked, needing to hear it from him.
He nodded.
“I’m sorry, love,” Matthew said. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to worry. And I didn’t want you to miss the trip just because of me. I also had an interview during the first week, and I wasn’t about to reschedule it.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me, Matt?” I asked. “We could have figured something out together.”
“I know,” he said, his voice breaking. “But I was just scared about letting you down.”
“We’re a team, Matthew,” I said. “You don’t have to face things like these alone. We can deal with this together. That’s what marriage is about.”
My husband smiled and pulled me toward him.
“I understand that now,” he said.
We sat in silence for a while, both trying to figure out the next move. I knew that he would have been trying to find another job, and I didn’t want to ask him a million questions about it.
He would tell me when something came up.
“Come,” he said. “Let’s eat.”
We sat down at the table, and Matthew asked me about the trip.
“Tell me everything,” he said. “Did Liam get drunk and do something stupid?”
“Of course he did!” I laughed as Matthew poured me a glass of wine. “He tried moonshine from some other campers and ended up streaking, running through tents.”
“I bet Sasha wasn’t impressed,” Matthew laughed. “That couple is always disagreeing.”
As we did the dishes together that evening, Matthew sighed and leaned against the counter.
“Thank you for understanding,” he said. “Thank you for not thinking that I was covering up an affair.”
I smiled at my husband, ashamed that I entertained the thought of him having another woman in our home.
“But did you make sure to change the bedding?” I asked him. “I’m not about to sleep in a bed that other people have been in.”
Matthew laughed loudly.
“Our bedroom was locked, darling,” he said. “They only used the guest room.”
Over the next few days, we talked about everything. We spoke about the loss of his job, the financial strain, and our plan moving forward.
“I’m actively looking, Piper,” he said over coffee and toast the next morning. “I’ve set up alerts for job positions that I would fit into. And I’ve cut down on any other unnecessary expenses. This isn’t going to be for long. I can promise you that.”
As for Mrs. Peterson, I went downstairs to her apartment, ready to explain everything.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know about everything Matthew was going through. And he ended up letting our apartment out as an Airbnb for the week, just to make some money off it.”
“Oh, honey,” she said, her eyes softening as she put the kettle on. “It’s okay! I understand it now. I just thought that you two were taking advantage of the situation. But I get it now.”
“Thank you for understanding,” I said. “We just need a minute to get back on our feet.”
Mrs. Peterson faffed around the kitchen, making us some tea.
“Look, Piper,” she said, giving me a plate of biscuits. “I’m here and willing to help you out if you ever need the help.”
It turned out that in her youth, Mrs. Peterson had been through tough times herself and knew how hard it could be to ask for help.
What would you have done?
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