Sonia Todd of Moscow, Idaho, died of cancer at the young age of 38. But knowing the end was near, she decided to write her own obituary before passing away. As she explained, obituaries were usually written a couple of different ways that she simply didn’t care for. So, as one of her last acts on this earth, she put pen to paper and decided for herself how her obituary would read.
The result of Sonia confronting her own mortality as she penned her obituary was a piece full of humor as well as wisdom, appearing in the Moscow-Pullman Daily News. The words were so honest and inspirational that long after her death, they will still ring true, giving others something to aspire to. Ironically, Sonia wrote, “I never really accomplished anything of note.” How wrong she was. The truth expressed in the obituary she wrote proved to be quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
“Other than giving birth to my two wonderful, lovable, witty and amazing sons (James and Jason), marrying my gracious, understanding and precious husband (Brian), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior – I have done very little. None of which requires obit space that I have to shell out money for,” Sonia Todd began, explaining why she was writing her obituary and why it wouldn’t be like others.
Adding that she didn’t want a bunch of her loved ones sitting around to write a glowing report of her, which she says would be “filled with fish tales, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and out-right-honest-to-goodness-lies,” Sonia explained she simply didn’t like putting people in those kinds of situations. With the explanation out of the way, she got to her version of the truth about her own life.
“I just tried to do the best I could. Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried. For all of my crazy comments, jokes and complaints, I really did love people. The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in. I didn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing and when you come to the end of your life those are the things you really regret, the small simple things that hurt other people,” Sonia admitted.
Although she said that she mostly enjoyed life, she also said it wasn’t perfect and that she encountered many bumps in the road, especially in her teens and early 20s. Even though some parts of her life were harder than others, Sonia said, “I learned something from every bad situation and I couldn’t do any more than that.” She also claimed there were benefits to dying young. Jokingly, she wrote, “I still owe on my student loans and the jokes on them cuz I’m not paying them. Plus, I am no longer afraid of serial killers, telemarketers or the IRS.”Addressing the fact that some people have told her that writing her own obituary is morbid, Sonia Todd continued, “I think it is great because I get a chance to say thank you to all the people who helped me along the way. Those who loved me, assisted me, cared for me, laughed with me and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life. I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what made my life worthwhile.”
It was the conclusion of her obituary that was the most important, however. Sonia encouraged others to change their lives. “If you think of me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory do this: Volunteer at a school, church or library. Write a letter to someone and tell them how they have had a positive effect on your life. If you smoke – quit. If you drink and drive – stop,” she wrote.
Her advise continued, “Turn off the electronics and take a kid out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop at all lemonade-stands run by kids and brag about their product. Make someone smile today if it is in your power to do so.”
Today seems like a good day to honor Sonia’s memory by completing some of these simple requests and reminding others to do the same. Luckily for us, we still have time for these things. And, thankfully, with her dying wish, Sonia Todd left us these words of wisdom that few realize until it’s too late
MY DAD JUST WOKE UP FROM A COMA, SAYING HE HEARD EVERYTHING IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM & EXPOSING MY WFE.
The sterile scent of the hospital room hung heavy in the air, a stark contrast to the joyous atmosphere that had filled it moments before. My father, his face pale but his eyes surprisingly alert, looked at us, a mixture of exhaustion and a strange intensity in his gaze.
“Dad,” I began, my voice trembling with emotion, “how was it? Did you have any dreams? Any… anything?”
He looked at each of us in turn, his gaze lingering on my wife, Leah, who had gone deathly pale. “Not only dreams, son,” he rasped, his voice weak but surprisingly clear. “I heard EVERYTHING that happened in this room.”
A collective gasp escaped from the assembled family members. My mother, tears streaming down her face, reached for his hand.
“Dad,” I said, my voice strained, “what do you mean?”
He turned his gaze back to me, his expression serious. “There’s something you need to know about your wife,” he said, his voice gaining strength. “Something you need to understand.”
Leah, her face ashen, tried to interject, but my father raised a frail hand to silence her. “She’s nothing at all like what we think she is,” he continued, his voice unwavering. “Once, she came here—without you.”
The room fell silent. The only sound was the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. Leah’s eyes, wide with fear, darted around the room.
“She came alone,” my father continued, his voice gaining strength. “She cried, she talked about… about how she was only with me for the money. She said she was relieved when I got into the accident. Said she was finally free.”
The words hung heavy in the air, each one a hammer blow to my heart. I looked at Leah, her face a mask of denial and fear. Her eyes, once filled with love and concern, now held a cold, calculating glint.
“Dad,” I whispered, my voice barely audible, “are you sure? Maybe you misheard?”
He shook his head slowly. “I heard every word, son. Every cruel word.”
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. The woman I loved, the woman I had vowed to cherish, was a stranger. A stranger who had pretended to love me, who had plotted my father’s demise.
Anger, cold and furious, surged through me. I wanted to scream, to lash out, to tear her apart. But instead, I felt a deep, suffocating sadness. The woman I had loved, the woman who had filled my life with joy, had been a lie.
Leah, her face contorted in a mixture of fear and defiance, tried to speak, but no words came out. She turned and fled from the room, her footsteps echoing down the hospital corridor.
I turned to my father, his gaze filled with a mixture of pity and regret. “I’m so sorry, son,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I wish I could have warned you sooner.”
As I watched Leah disappear from view, I knew my life would never be the same. The trust I had placed in her, the love I had cherished, had shattered into a thousand pieces. The man who had awakened from a coma had not only saved my life but had also saved me from a lifetime of heartbreak.
The road ahead was uncertain, filled with pain and disillusionment. But I knew, deep down, that I would rebuild. I would learn to trust again, to love again. But this time, I would be wiser, more cautious. I would never again allow myself to be blinded by love, to let my guard down, to let someone else define my happiness.
The experience had left an indelible mark on me, a constant reminder of the fragility of trust, the importance of vigilance, and the enduring power of truth.
Leave a Reply